Life

Things Every Guy Does Before A Night Out

When the lads are going on a  night out, there are always things that happen  that at this stage have become part of the ritual. Whether it's the adrenaline or the testosterone involved in going out, we just don't know. Here are the things guys do before every night out.

18) Putting on your favourite shirt

This doesn't necessarily mean your best shirt and the one you should actually wear, it's the one that you think is hilarious but no else thinks is. You say it's a good conversation starter, but only because of how stupid it looks.

17) A dab of that trusty cologne

You got it for Christmas a couple of years ago, it's always been there to fall back on, you would never go out without putting some of it on. You have become accustomed to the smell so you don't notice that it smells like dried sweat.

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16) Spending half an hour fixing your hair

You leave the most time for your hair because you know you will spend the most time on it. You put enough gel in your hair to do you for the week. Now that you smell of piss and your hair look's like a greaser's, there is only one more thing left.

15) A quick pep talk in the mirror

You take one final look at yourself in the mirror and start to become attracted to yourself. You think that you're going to get all the girls tonight. You wonder how any girl could resist your good looks.

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 14) Losing your phone just as you go out the door

You have everything ready and then you forget where you put your phone, your friends could be texting for all you know. All you know is that you can't go before you find your phone.

13) Pre-drinks!!

You can't have a proper night out on the tiles without pre-drinks. It's where all the lads meet up and drink way too much before going out. There is always that rare occassion, that the pre-drinks are actually better than the night out itself.

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12) Playing Kings

Things start to get real interesting when you decide to play a game of kings. This is the starting point of intoxication and you always feel sorry for the bloke that has to down the final pint.

11) Crawling to the toilet because someone pulled a jack

When someone gets a jack they have free reign to make any rule they want. Usually it's something like not being able to say someone's name or curse. If you're really cruel you will make it a nightmare for them to get to the toilet.

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10) Blasting the tunes on someone's laptop

No pre-drinks is complete without some tunes, so whoever is hosting gets their laptop out and blasts the tunes. Usually you just stick on Spotify and pick an artist. If you're really brave you can stick on your custom playlist that you made.

9) One of your friends thinks he's a dj

There is always that one friend who take's control over the DJ duties because he thinks he is one. Some of the tunes are actually good and he throws some 90's classics in there for good measure.

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8) Then he plays a song that completely wrecks the buzz

Things are going well and the drinks are flowing, then they decide to play "YMCA" and everything stops. Everyone turns to look at the moron who decided to kill the mood with one foul swoop. It never seems to fully recover and it's all because of that one song.

7) That guy who says he can do a handstand and fails miserbly

There is always that one loose canon who thinks he is invincible when he has a few drinks in him. No one wants to see him doing it, but he ends up doing it anyway. You're glad he did end up doing it, because now you have now a video of him falling flat on his face.

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6) The complementary lad's night out photo

Everyone needs to know that you are going out tonight, so you take a photo and post it on Facebook with a million hashtags. #ladsnightout #onthepull #getting locked #let's get drunk, looking like a moron in the process.

5) Talking about how many girl's you're going to get

You think that you're going to be a Casanova in the club and everyone has their say on how many girl's their going to pull. It's all just talk and you would be lucky to get at least one.

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4) Remembering how you got none last time

It' been a while since you've scored on a night out and even talking about it makes those memories of rejection come to the surface. It's always the unassuming one that pulls the most girls, you lose them for half of the night and wonder where they have been.

3) That guy that drinks way too much, too soon

It always seems to be the Captain Morgan's that gets him, they don't really know how to pace themselves. You are the one that always ends up having to take care of them for the rest of the night.

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2) Leaving way too late

It's 11 o'clock  and you still haven't called the cab, there is always that one friend that keeps saying " We have loads of time, it's great craic here". The whole point of pre-drinks is to set yourself for the night, so you actually need to go out.

1) Everyone necking their drinks when the taxi arrives

So you have to Hailo a taxi (8 man, of course) at the last minute and hope you get in, in time. No one expects it to come that soon so everyone has to neck their pints. There is always one who has already had too much and ends up getting sick in the taxi

 

Kenneth Fox
Article written by
I'm a musician and a writer, or a writer and a musician, I can't make up my mind, Either way I'm not particularly good at either. A bit of an old fashioned guy, who enjoys the simpler things in life, nothing fancy.

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