This one is for all you stunning hunzos and ledgebag lads that provide us the public service of announcing, via Snapchat, that things that happen every day, ARE IN FACT, happening.
You may not know this, but if some everyday, mundane tasks are not recorded on Snapchat, they are wiped from history completely! The following is a list of Snapchat musts, and it is our duty to record them for history:
1. The Weather
No. It really isn’t snowing if it’s not in your Snapchat. Brave are those who withstand the elements to get a 10-second recording of sleet with the temperature filter. Where would Met Éireann be without these updates? How would they know where the storm is to send Teresa Mannion? The journeys would indeed be unnecessary…
2. Bath Bombs
The latest in the snapchat fad, especially after Christmas 2017. (If in doubt, say it with a bath bomb). These little pamper delights are tricky to learn how to use. It’s a very technical procedure but thanks to the savvy Snapchatter, the secret has been revealed.
THEY PUT THE BOMB IN THE BATH AND IT DISSOLVES. MIND. BLOWN.
3. Gin & Tonics
Much like the rest of your night out, G&T’s would simply cease to exist without a little camera time. Fishbowl? Check. Cucumbers? Check. Boomerang? Check. Clink those glasses girlos and spread the word.
Let she who is without gin, record the rest of us with her phone.
Because not all heroes wear Cocoa Brown. The savvy pintsman knows his duty. Finish work at 5pm on Friday, be in The Hairy Lemon for 5 30pm and have the humble Guinness snap shared with the world by 6. But what pint snap would be complete without the caption – “well deserved” or “#pintbaby”?
5. Breakfast, brunch, meals of any kind…
Remember a time when you would go to a restaurant, order your food and EAT IT? What kind of cavemen were we? Did meals even happen? Did we eat, but at all?
In 2002, we would have turned our noses up at those who called avo & eggs a meal. Today, these foodies have a duty to capture and share this breakfast of eh.. champions…
Screwed over by Seatwave? Never fear gig-goer. You can be assured someone, somewhere in your friends list will be at that concert, recording the whole thing from intro to finale, murdering the rendition of every hit.
But without their sing-a-long, would you even know what song is being played? No. Would you even have gotten a glimpse of that concert? No. But you didn’t think about that did you? No. You only think about yourself. Hmmf!
7. New runners
Again, this little snap nugget has become increasingly popular over the last year, but over Christmas, Snapchat almost blew up with boomerangs of people opening Nike boxes. Superstars? Snap that. Yeezeys? Insta Story! We are fashion forward civilisation guys, and without the Snapchat moguls, how would we know what’s hot and what’s not? I mean, not a day goes by that I don’t wonder, "What shoes is everyone else wearing today?"
These are the questions that haunt me…
8. Going out for a walk
Lest this feet of pure physical ability go undocumented! I mean, did people walk before the internet? Is this the new “Seltering”?
It’s all about the scenic snap my friends – whether it’s of the lake you stumbled across on your jog, or the views at the top of Killiney hill on your hike, Snapchatters are sharing the scenes that Attenborough could only dream of. Have they renamed the Sugar Loaf the Snap Loaf yet?
9. The Gym Snap
I don’t know if you’ve ever set foot in a gym, but apparently if you don’t take a picture of your dumbbells and water bottle, you don’t actually make any gains! Who knew?!
Sharing this snap isn’t so much for benefit of others, it’s an actual work-out requirement - like taking a protein shake afterwards! But if you really want it to work, you have to snap yourself in the mirror and tense till your face goes purple…
10. Televised Sports
Thank god. I mean phew! I was watching the match on RTE but re-watching it on your telly, in your Snapchat story, really made me feel like I was there!
Who would even believe you stayed up all night if you don’t document the UFC with the clock filter, demonstrating that you were in fact awake till 5am. Because realistically, if you don’t do that… well it didn’t even happen.