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Throwing Shapes: How To Act The Hardshaw

Throwing Shapes: How To Act The Hardshaw

Now look, I'm a lover not a fighter. But there comes a time in every person's life where they come face to face with a hostile situation and haves to defend themselves and uphold the family name.

But what you haven't been told by your parents is that you can avoid any confrontation by going on the front foot. Attack being the best form of defence is a chestnut espoused by many a mediocre football pundit but it rings true in real life too.

Now this doesn't mean you break a chair across some randomer's back as soon as you enter a room, but through a series of advanced body language techniques and mastering of social cues you can intimidate any opponent into submission without so much as laying a finger on them.

1) The Fake Headbutt

One of the primary tenets of throwing shapes, the fake headbutt, has a storied history as a useful weapon in any attempt to intimidate an opponent. The fake headbutt can be thrown from near or afar. Here are some examples of the fake headbutt in practise. Note that the fake headbutt in the first clip is of such effectiveness that it actually intimidates both parties into falling to the ground writhing in panic.

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Watch here at this excellent use of the fake headbutt used by the Viper in order to disorient and confuse an adversary.

2) Hold Me Back

The hold me back technique that can be used to freeze any potential threats although you will need a partner for this method. All you have to do is get your mean, mugging face ready and pretend to go for your target while your sidekick holds you back. Like the old saying goes 'a dog's bark is worse than it's bite', it's your goal to make your foe think otherwise.

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3) Pace Angrily Back And Forth

Like a dog in the latter stages of rabies, unpredictability is your friend. If someone thinks you are a volatile mad bastard likely to do anything, they will give you a wide berth.

4) Mad Dog Them

Practise your scowls, grimaces, frowns and glowers in the mirror to make sure you look as hard as possible. Think of it this way, the uglier you look the less people will want to engage with you. Some scars and face tattoos will also go a long way to making you stick out as someone not to get on the wrong side of.

5) Stretch Extensively

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Crack your knuckles, roll your shoulders and do several knee lunges. If people see you do this they will think you are a hardened soldier, a veteran of many battles, they will give you respect.

6) Dance

Now something a little less controversial. You can also throw shapes in a musical sense. Dazzle onlookers with your relentless body popping. This will engender a feeling of overwhelming positivity and joy and therefore nullify any aggressors.

Also Read: Quiz: Do You Know Your Drinking Vocabulary?

Eoin Lyons

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