Timeline of things you're liable to say/hear/yell during the Twelve Pubs

1. "Haven't seen you in ages lad, Merry Christmas! Pint?"


2. "Yeah I've the week of Christmas off, gonna be savage! Pint?"


3. "Ah Jaysus lad you're back from London, great to see you! Pint?"



4. "Where are we off to after this? Do we have time for another? Pint?"


5. "No you're alright lad, I'm in a round. Yeah United are shite now, it's great! Pint?"



6. "Is it time? Sure fuck it we'll be alright, shots for the lads! Guinness chaser!"

This is the point where a girl throws up and someone almost gets refused.



7. "I fucking knew the economy was in the shite before anyone else did I'm telling ya! Whiskey? Whiskey for the lads!"


8. "Where's he gone the bastard, he owes me a drink the tight hoor!"

This is where someone drops a glass, everyone yells taxi and thinks it's funny while all the people not in your group whose night you're ruinning looks at you with disdain.



9. "I'm telling you they were a c#nt back then and they're...ah Caoimhe tis yourself! We were just talking about you, great to see you! Drink?"


10. "I'm back on the pints for a bit of a rest"



11. "Three doner kebabs, four garlic and cheese fries, a battered sausage and some chicken nuggets"


12. "Conor, Conor, can you let me in I forgot my keys? Also do you have money for my taxi?"

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Ignatius J Reilly
Article written by
I invented the ampersand and question mark.

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