Last week was a tough time for me and nobody could prepare me for it. I'm not talking college exams, or the dreaded thesis, I'm talking about getting four wisdom teeth removed. It was so painful, so tiring and so bloody inflammed. Each part of my face had a pulse and it was excrutiating but I survived and you will too. Before you go into hospital, and are put under general anesthetic, there are a few things I should let you know. Things that can only be described by a recovering wisdom tooth removal patient. Here is what you need to know and what they don't tell you.
1) You conk out
I was so worried about the general anaesthetic and what happens when you go under. Turned out this was the least of my worries. I thought I would have really bad anxiety and heart palpitations straight before it but I was surprisingly calm. Within three breaths I was an absolute goner. This is the good part.
2) You don't know where the fu*k you are
This was my first time on general anaesthetic and when you come out of it in the recovery room you don't have a clue what's going on. I immediately, in my haze of all hazes, asked for water and they said I couldn't have it. To which I whinged in response and fell back asleep again.
3) You can't eat
You genuinely can't eat. They wouldn't let me leave hospital until I ate something, I couldn't and they wouldn't let me go until I at least tried. I got down a bit of ice-cream and they let me go two hours later.
4) It is a long process
You don't have to stay over night but it is a very long day. I got in at 7.30am and left at 5pm so be prepared. Bring slippers and a dressing gown. You may have suppressed anger or love for a nurse.
5) You loose all sense of dignity
It gets to a stage where you just don't care what people have seen. I don't know whether it was when the heart monitors on my boobs were being felt by the doctor or when I was getting an injection in my ass, but all self awareness goes out the window. You don't care, they don't care and everyone is working as usual.
6) The jelly hurts
If they give you jelly afterwards, be warned. I don't know whether it was just me but the lime flavored jelly whacked against the back of my throat. The kind of feeling you get when you eat a chili in your Chinese takeaway without realizing. Just take it easy.
7) Soup and smoothies will be your best friend or your worst enemy
These will be the only things you can eat, if you can eat at all. I couldn't eat properly until about 5 days later so just be prepared for it because I was not.
8) You look like a chipmunk
You will be very swollen. The strange thing for me is my bottom lip and chin were extremely swollen. I looked like a cross between Jay Leno and the Nutty Professor when he goes from thin to fat (with his lip exploding first obviously). Then the swelling spread all over. Some people can be luckier than others with the swelling it really just depends I suppose.
9) Buy many dvd's and set up a TV in your room
If you have a laptop with a CD drive great. If not, get a TV from somewhere in the house brought into your room. Your bedroom will be your sanctuary and you won't leave your bed until you're feeling better.
10) If in doubt call your dentist
If you have any worries about your medication or your swelling or stitches call your dentist. They will be happy to help and tell you what to do.
11) Go home to your parents
If you don't already live with your parents go home to them. You will need some serious TLC and trying to sleep while your housemate has a party will not make matters better whatsoever.
12) Consistently take your medication
Whether it be an alarm on your phone or the help of your family make sure you take the medication whenever you have to. You will most likely be on an anti-biotic and pain killers so remember you will be very drowsy. Stay indoors and in bed.
13) Gargle with salt
Yes it's unappealing but it will keep infection away. The last thing you need is an infection thrown in the mix.
14) The stitches are so itchy
The stitches are very itchy and they do dissolve eventually so whatever you do don't cut them out yourself. Two friends of mine did this (you know who you are) and they said it wasn't the best idea they've ever had. Mine took 11 days to dissolve - keep that in mind.
15) The world isn't ending
You have full right to feel upset and angry in your time of pain. You have had dental surgery and a general anaesthetic takes at least a week to get over. But, it will end soon. Just remember it isn't the end of the world.
