When Exactly Is A Woman "Asking For It"?

In the recent Brock Turner case in the States, a young man raped an unconscious girl and then claimed it was consensual. Supposedly, she had been drunk, flirting with him, and then unconscious. So, as you can see, it's very confusing as to whether these three things meant she wanted sex. It's quite difficult to tell when a woman is "asking for it" or not asking for it. I'll break this down for you. Here is when a woman is asking for sex:

2. NOT When She Wears A Short Skirt Or A Low-Cut Top

When a woman picks out her clothes, she may pick out a short skirt because she likes that skirt, or because she's been going to the gym and she really wants to show off her legs, or maybe it's the only thing clean. She probably did not pick out that skirt hoping it would be the equivalent of a neon sign flashing "I WANT SEX."


2. NOT When She's Flirting With You

When a woman is flirting with you, she does not necessarily want sex. She may just be talking to you, and you perceive the conversation as flirtatious. Maybe she really is flirting.  Because there are numerous reasons she may be flirting with you, you have to find out more before you can assume she wants sex.


3. NOT When She Takes A Drink From You At A Bar

When a woman says yes to a drink that you offer her, she is actually only saying yes to one thing: the drink. She said yes to the drink because she wants the drink. She did not say yes to the drink to secretly imply that she wants the drink and many additional bonus things such as sex. Just give her the drink which she said yes to.

4. NOT When She Tells You She Really Likes You

Again, this is a flirting tactic. When a woman is flirting, she may or may not want sex. She may like you, and she may also like sex, but that does not mean that she would like to have sex with you.



5. NOT When She Kisses You

When a woman kisses you, she has consented to the kiss. Maybe she wants to kiss and then leave. Maybe she wants to kiss and then go further. You do not know yet because she has not told you yet.


6. NOT When She Agrees To Go Home With You


When a woman agrees to go home with you, that is all she has agreed to. She does not have to have sex with you simply because you have invited her to your home and she accepted the invitation.

7. NOT When She Says Yes But Then Changes Her Mind

It may be frustrating to think you're getting laid and then have a girl say never mind or get nervous. However, you need to respect her decision because she maintains the rights over her body to change her mind AT ANY TIME.

8. NOT When She's Falling Down Drunk Or Unconscious

If a woman is slurring her words, visibly drunk, or unconscious, she is not in a state to consent to sex. And merely being in that state in no way implies that she wants or wanted to have sex with anybody.



9. NOT When She's Known To Have Slept With Numerous Guys

If a woman commonly has sex, that does not necessarily mean that she wants to have sex with you. She does not have to have sex with you just because she sometimes has sex with other people, and past history of consent does not affect whether she will consent in the present or the future.

10. NOT When You're Her Boyfriend, Her Husband, Or The Guy She's Been Seeing For A Month

If you are dating her and maybe have even had sex with her, that's great. However, you do not have a season or backstage pass to her body. You actually need fresh consent each time you want to have sex.

11. When She Tells You Soberly And Confidently She Wants To Have Sex With You


This. This is when a woman wants to have sex with you.


Video: Tea And Consent



Credit: Thames Valley Police

Casey Schmauder
Article written by
Casey Schmauder is a third year student at the University of Pittsburgh studying nonfiction writing and psychology, currently enjoying a study abroad in Ireland writing for CollegeTimes and TeenTimes.

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