Worst Things That Happen On A Lad's Holiday

The Lad's Holiday... To make this list, and deserve to, these points below have to be pretty darn "Worst" if you know what I mean.

Worst can be anything from embarrassing, to disgusting, to dangerous, and everything in-between.

... This can be an insight for girls wondering what exactly goes on when their BF's head to Crete or wherever without them. OR this could be a warning for all the Lads. C'mon lads, simmer down now.

1. The Embarrassing Check In When They Announce The Lads Holiday.

It doesn't matter what destination it is, the check- in always states that the place in question "...WON'T KNOW WHATS HIT IT!" Because that is obviously very much the truth, and this group of guys have literally reinvented the act of getting fucked in public... Well done lads.

2. The Group T-Shirts.

Sigh. But look, if it keeps them altogether, then 'awwww', right?!

3. When One Of The Lads Falls Asleep At The Beach/Pool.

...And becomes a walking tribute to the Polish flag. And ends up staying indoors for the next couple of days, only creeping out at dusk, 'wearing' his new Ben Sherman shirt that feels like chain-mail on his skin, shivering in the first Irish Bar they visit.

4. When One Of The Lads Gets Crazy And Decides To Destroy Something.

Usually hotel furniture... and usually thrown out the balcony window into the dirty hotel pool below. At least one Lad will do this in an alcohol-fuelled rage. Its inexplicable.

5. When One Of The Lads Gets Lost During Wild Night Out.

And rolls into the hotel at half eleven the next morning, dehydrated, in the midst of sun-stroke, cracked lips, t-shirt wrapped around head. Broken handcuff on wrist. No explanation. None requested.

6. The Compound Shit.

Not happy with your lodgings? Unhappy with the choice of English Language-chocolate bars in the vending machine down at reception? Horrified by the rubberiness of the bacon at the 'Continental' breakfast? Why then, why don't you show your hotel you won't take it any longer? Why don't you show them what you're really made of? Thats where the 'Compound Shit' comes in. WHATS A COMPOUND SHIT YOU ASK? Well, I'll tell you!:

-Every Lad in the group shits in the one toilet.

-NOT ONE FLUSH.

-Draws straws to determine who shall be last.

-DO NOT FLUSH AT THE END.

-Leave for the cleaners to deal with. Preferably make sure that it'll be a couple of hours before they reach it.

Fuck you, Thomas Cook!

7. When One Of The Lads Gets Injured.

Its always going to happen. Stitches to the face... Broken arms... If it so happens that your boyfriend rolls into the airport bandaged up, trying to distract you with the keyring of the camel that he bought you, then be assured in the fact that your guy is the dumbass in the group.

8. The Cheap Alcohol.

Popping down to the local off-licence to get the €2 bottle of vodka. And drinking it... And its only half seven in the evening... And the clubs never close... This is how most of the above points happen.

9. The Tattoo.

Its always on the ass, or somewhere else stupid. And its always... stupid! And its funny for that one day only. And then they have to live with it, dumbass Lad!