When I was younger I used to look at the kids with glasses with complete envy. I saw them as a cool accessory that I wasn't allowed have. But now that I've spent way too much time looking at my phone, it's my turn to be a glasses person and boy, is it shit. Here are 13 painful truths about wearing glasses because take it from me, it's not all about specs appeal...
1) You look smarter.
You may not be that smart. But because of the whole "nerd" stigma around glasses, you now look muy intelligente. I have all of the knowledge.
2) You forget they're there and end up scratching them instead of your eye.
I guess they're kinda a shield to stop poking yourself in the eye. It's a win, win deal really.
3) You can't lie on your side with them on.
And then one night you forget you have them on and you fall over on your bed in exhaustion and they nearly chop your nose off. For GAWDS sake.
4) Going to see a 3D movie is a struggle.
You have your glasses on and then they want you to put another pair of glasses on top of that? Your ears can't take the strain, I'm afraid.
5) They get caught in your clothes when you're getting changed.
You may as well not wear them until you're leaving the house, basically.
6) When it's sunny, you forget they're not sunglasses.
If you're new to glasses, then you're used to wearing sunglasses. So when it's sunny out, you automatically assume it's sunglasses you have on and you decide to take a quick look at the sky and your retinas are fucking smoked and now I want to cry.
7) Prescription sunglasses cost too much.
You may as well just buy those stupid little flip-up sunglasses.
8) You'll get sick of people saying, "You need windscreen wipers!"
Ha. Ha. That is actually so fucking funny. Nobody has ever said that to me ever before in my entire life. *Sigh*
9) You think you look sexy in them.
Sometimes you think you look like a sexy teacher. But you don't. Trust me. You don't.
10) You will lose them at least three times a week.
It's inevitable. You will try your hardest not to, but either at home, in work or when you're out and about, you will lose them. Oh well....
11) Everyone wants to try them on and then comment on your prescription.
Yeah and people will try them on and say, "Woah, you're blind!" No fucking shit Sherlock. Why do you think I wear glasses?
12) You experience 'Sudden Blindness By Steam Syndrome' regularly...
When it's steamy or hot, your glasses fog up and you can't see a bloody thing. Great, just great.
13) Most of the time you look like an old secretary.
Don't get too excited about your new glasses because you probably look like Roz from Monsters Inc.