So You've Fallen For Your College Lecturer: 8 Tips On How To Cope

The unthinkable has happened. You've looked up from pretending to study your notes during that Wednesday morning lecture, and you notice them properly for the first time: Your new lecturer is seriously hot. As in, 'Is student-teacher sex actually not allowed, or just frowned upon?' kind of hot. This is weird territory to be in. It's awkward, and the idea of being alone with them excites and freaks you out in equal measure. You begin to wonder: Will this screw up my future grade for this class? Are they actually hot, or am I just ridiculously hungover after Half-Price Tuesday's in the College Bar? Either way, here's 8 tips that'll make it easier to cope.


1.They Don't Know That You Fancy Them.

Ok, chill for one f*cking second. Something just flipped inside you, that doesn't mean it's written all over your tired, hungover face. So what if you do fancy your lecturer... and they are now apparently the most amazing thing on planet Earth, and they know all the facts about everything in the whole world and they smell like old books (in a good way), and are probably really generous to charities or whatever. IT'S OK.


2. This Isn't The First Time In The History Of Third Level Education That This Has Happened.


You are not the first. You most definitely won't be the last. If we had a penny for every time a student fantasised about getting intimate with a lecturer and we'd be very rich, very rich indeed.


3. You Can't Control Who You Like...And That's Alright, Yeah?

It's that thing, isn't it? You feel feelings which feel like feelings you shouldn't have. The person you like is just SO wrong for you. Like, all the amount of wrong. But it just seems to make it stronger and more lustful. It's like Madeira Cake. I love madeira cake. But people just can't understand that. Silly people should eat more madeira cake, and stop judging my boring taste in cake and leave me and my crumby jumper alone... Even if it is so deliciously vanilla, and so very bad for me.



4. They're Just A Regular Person In a Specific Role

It's like the whole 'Uniform Theory' in practise. Authority Uniform plus Body to wear it plus Eyes to see it all together equals Instant attraction cocktail. That position that they hold over you is key to finding them so attractive. What if they were just the annoying guy who lived next door, and were friends with your Dad? Or that old weird guy that attended that spinning class you went to once (and never ever ever again, please forgive me, dear calves on my legs)? Hmm?! Not so sexy now, right?! Or maybe you're just a straight up, floor licking freak. What I'm trying to say is they might be dashing and know their way around a white board, but they could have yellow toe-nails and watch Frasier on repeat every night on their own. Just saying.


5. Is There A Ring On it?

If there is, then stop reading this, you naughty thing. Go on, away with you.




6. Remind Yourself Who Exactly They Are To You In Your Educational Career.

Pursuing this will affect everything. It will take over everything in your life, and could end us causing much stress and pain. Are they worth it? Is there a way that this could play out where you don't get hurt? Do they avail of half price savings in the campus restaurant?



7. Consider The Consequences

If you get caught fraternising with someone in that position, its not gonna look good for either of you. You could get thrown out of college and made a laughing stock of potentially, so just remember how hard you worked to get there in the first place, and how much it means to you. Still thinking about doing it? Daaaayyuuuuumm, you got it BAD.


8. Point Number 8

Even numbers are cool. I just wanted to say that. Is dating your lecturer cool? If you can get away with it, and it would actually lead to a fulfilling, meaningful relationship, well...sure why not?



Video: Inappropriate Crushes - Pillow Talk



Credit: UnsolicitedProject

Stephen Brennan

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