When people think of Tinder, they think of the straightforward "If they're hot swipe right" approach. They rarely think of the alternatives, such as the possibility of finding gay (and I don't just mean happy) love on Tinder. Earth to obviously-heterosexual-app makers: us gays want some sexy time too, you know. Here are just a few of the struggles lesbians in particular face when swiping left or right...
1) They're all either really butch or total lipstick lesbians
Can I not find just one girl without a checked shirt or drawn-on eyebrows? Please? Anyone?!
2) Do I have to chat first or how does it work?
Are we doing this based on a scale of Ruby Rose to Ellen DeGeneres or how do we decide who the butch one is?
3) Why are there so few women interested in women in my area?
I'll just bump that up another 50km so...
4) Should I just swipe right to make up the numbers?
I'm seriously lacking in matches so maybe a few below averages wouldn't do any harm. Otherwise, I might have to start considering men. *vomit*
5) Are they actually gay or did someone change their preferences as a joke?
Come on, you are way too hot to be a lesbian. Someone's definitely pulling a fast one on you. But still, you're going to the right just in case...
6) Maybe I should change it to 'interested in men and women' for more variety
Even if it is just to remind myself that I'm as gay as Willy fucking Wonka.
7) It would be so much easier if they made an LGBT Tinder
Thanks for putting me through all this hassle Tinder. It's not that hard to make another version of the app, you inconsiderate bastards.
8) Are these real lesbians or just straight girls getting thrown in to tease me?
Seriously, every hot girl I come across I'm like "Naw, she ain't gonna match with me". But then every so often, it happens and I thank all the lesbian saints up there who've got my back.
9) Come on Tinder, there are definitely more than 20 lesbians in this 160km radius.
How can I run out of options after 10 minutes? I know I'm picky but Jesus, I hardly swiped a tenth of the population right there.
10) Matching with someone is just verifying their sexuality more than anything.
Okay, now that I know she's definitely gay I have to decide how to approach the conversation. I don't want to scare her back to the dark side or anything.
11) Seeing a girl you thought was straight and now realising new potential.
Dayum girl, why didn't you say this sooner? All those missed opportunities. Oh well, no time like the present.
12) Why are Tinder chat up lines so male-oriented?
Can we not talk about penetration for like one second?
13) Changing your gender on Facebook so you can swipe all the hot straight girls, even if they'll never swipe you back
I can dream, can't I?
14) Why the fuck do guys keep popping up? I'm not changing my mind, bitch
And that's me being completely straight-up with you. Well...