Nature can be cruel, it can be terrifying. We are seeing that now with the terrible hurricanes that have been ravaging the Carribean and Southern U.S. states over the past few weeks. Yet, there is no greater contrast than that between the infinite power and splendour of nature on display through these destructive storms, and the name 'Brian'.
Despite this, Met Éireann has released its list of storm names in anticipation of the 2017/18 storm season and, as always, they seem rather ludicrous given their context.
Brian is the name of an accountant. It is the name of a man who unironically owns argyle socks. It is the name of a man who's favourite actor is Mark Wahlberg; who wonders why no one ever wants to accompany him on his 'long weekend drives'; who will just have a piece of fruit for dessert and not think it weird. Brian is the name of a man who, when he was in school, would accidentally burst Frubes all down his jumper at lunchtime and for the rest of the day would be coated in a sickly layer of yogurt. Brian should not be the name of a storm capable of destroying homes and upending people's lives.
Yet here we are, nestled in amongst the list of names announced by Met Eireann for the 2017/18 storm season is 'Brian'. Aside from the fact that 'Storm Brian' sounds like some 'cheap and cheerful' pornstar who will turn up to a shoot for nothing more than the promise of a warm meal and a roof over his head, it just seems entirely disconnected from the potential severity of the event it's describing.
The list is released annually and features a name for each letter of the alphabet, of alternating gender, which are then ascribed in order to any storms that batter Ireland over the coming months.
Some of the other names included seem to have rather more gravitas and thus be vaguely more appropriate such as 'Victor' and 'Octavia'. However if they were truly being names correctly, the first would not be 'Aileen', it would be 'Ah, why god, why!? What sins have we wrought for you to wreak such vengence upon us? Why!?'. But here we are.
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Here's the full list of names below:
Apologies to anybody whose name begins with 'Q', 'U', 'X', 'Y' or 'Z' you are apparently not worthy of having a storm potentially named after you.
