Aer Lingus Announce Huge Sales On Flights To North America

Aer Lingus Announce Huge Sales On Flights To North America

Thanks to that unbearable, age-old foe, tectonic drift, it is now next to impossible for a man to walk form Western Europe to America. Gone are the halcyon days, before the North Atlantic ridge stuck its ugly beak into things, when you could wake up one morning in, what would've been Clare - but covered in dinosaurs, and decide to hot-foot it westwards, so that by evening you'd be shacked up in, what would've been Massachusetts - but covered in dinosaurs.

If you were to try and repeat the same trick now, you'd be up to your jaffers in brine before you could blink. And again, for this, the blame must be laid firmly at the feet of continental drift, which has decided to slap the entire Atlantic Ocean between us. Now, you are left with no choice in getting to North America than to accept than you can either schlep it across the seas - perhaps on some home-made raft, or to fly.

Thankfully, it seems the decent, honourable folk at Aer Lingus are equaly appalled at this start of affairs, brought about by tectonic drift. They are seeking to help undo the attempts of millions of years of gradual continental plate movement to keep us apart. They are looking to do this by providing discounted return flights to various North American destinations between the months of January-May.

Tectonic Drift: 0, Long-Haul National Flight Carriers: 1

Their flights to North American destinations are starting at €189 each way as part of a return ticket. They have also added several new destinations in North America that they will fly to, including Montreal and Minneapolis- St Paul.


Thank god, thank god they have seen sense.

However, it appears that as an unfortunate side effect of these sizzling hot deals their website has caved under the demand and is currently just returning a 'gateway timeout'. However, could it possibly be a grand act of revenge by the forces of tectonic drift? Absolutely, and utterly not.

Also Read: Man Gives Himself Massive Pat On The Back Less Than 48 Hours Into Dry January

Rory McNab

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