So you've lived the single life and now you're ready to start settling down. You've began your search for that special someone but with so many guys out there how do you narrow down your search? Those sweet and sensitive guys are far too boring and way too predictable. You want a chase like, you don't want a guys affection handed to you on a silver platter and you're way to good for them anyway. Here's my guide on how you know you've got a keeper on your hands.
There's nothing sexier then a guy who spends every waking hour playing online poker tournaments. They know how to live on the wildside baby.
10. Loves His Mother
You want a man who openly loves his mammy. The kind that tells her everything. She'll be a real bitch too but sure what do you expect, you're stealing her little boy away from her.
9. Loves a Lads Night
Every guy needs a lads night out. Do you expect him to spend all his time with you or something? He needs at least three nights out a week from his hectic time of being unemployed. You better be there in the morning to make sure he has enough lucozade and breakfast rolls for the morning and enough toilet paper after a full night out on the Beamish. Don't be selfish, you can meet your friends for lunch any day.
8. Keeps You Guessing
Apart from the lads nights out yourself and himself might go out for a few pints from time to time. He's a big flirt but sure isn't that why you fell in love with him in the first place? Keeps you on your toes so you don't get too comfortable. It's perfect!
7. Bread Winner
If he does have a job you want someone who provides everything. Why would you need your own independence? Sure you'll be together for life like.
6. Big Drinker
Are you dating a man or a mouse? He needs to know how to neck the Strongbow until he gets to a stage where he has fire-face like no other and spits while he talks. That's a real man.
5. No Aspirations
You need someone who has no aspirations whatsoever. This way you have all his time and attention and you have more time to make him sandwiches.
4. Obsessed with the Gym
I'm not talking about those shites who go like 3 times a week and Instagram their workout. I'm talking a real man, 6 days a week, four hours a day. They could have been a personal trainer but like their too buff. They'd just intimidate the weak mortals there.
3. Over Protective
How dare the barman ask me what would I like to drink, undressing me with his eyes like that. Can't he see I'm with my fella like? All lads are sleazebags apart from my man.
2. Obsessed With Themselves
I'm talking, tan, quiff, long v-necks. The type of guy that steals your veet all the time. Those guys that pride themselves on their looks to no bounds. Every reflective surface to them is a mirror. And ladies you're an accessory to them too so get your wobbly arse to the gym. Don't let him down. You're lucky to be linking arms with him as it is.
1. Makes You Question Yourself
You need someone who wants to improve you. Of course you're not good enough for him the way you are now. Make up must be perfect at all times, hair is an essential and don't even think about trying to hold his hand with those cat claws. Don't bother him with your insecurities either, that's just so unattractive.
Sound like too much work? I guess you could just go for a down to earth, caring guy who actually likes you for you I suppose. I wonder where they could be...