Feeling lonely on these dark and cold nights? Too weary to venture out and find a man in fear of him being the asshole like the last guy who dicked you over? Never fear, there is something that can always be there for you, who doesn't judge and lets you be whoever you want to be, do whatever you want to do with no questions or complications....Netflix. Here are the reasons why you don't need a boyfriend once you have WiFi connection. Seriously besides sex and conversation, what else is missing?
Netflix is always there for you at the end of the day.
Stressful day on campus, had a fight with your friend? Netflix won't judge and take sides. You can grab a blanket and snuggle up on the couch and forget about your problems and focus on Buffy's instead. Really what's your drama compared with supernatural forces?
Gives you what you want.
Well, within reason. Netflix doesn't have all the great shows and films...not yet anyway. But it lets you choose what you want. You always get to pick the film and you don't have to hear any crap about how many times you've watched it before, or how they think its a really girlie crap-fest. You always get your way without feeling guilty, because Netflix only wants to make you happy.
It remembers what films and shows you really liked.
Netflix pays attention and remembers what you said, what you've seen and how much you liked it. You don't have to remind it, in fact, it reminds you of what you said you liked. It never forgets where you left off. How considerate...It even suggests other things you may like because you loved something similar!
It will convince you to stay.
You'll never want to leave and feel like you can't because the next episode starts in 8, 7, 6, ....It's too enticing, you can't say no and you don't want to. It doesn't need you to dress up, you can look like absolute crap and will love you just the same.
Your family all love Netflix.
They don't judge it, they think it's wonderful and versatile and considerate. They applaud your subscription, as long as they get to be involved as well. It caters to everyone's need and knows what everyone loves.
It doesn't play mind games with you.
If it doesn't have something it will let you know. It will suggest something similar or new and different. But it won't dick you around and pretend to have something that it doesn't. It's honest and, as long as the internet connection is solid and not too many people are using your account, its steady and reliable.
It gives great gifts.
Like Orange is the New Black or House of Cards. Now they're talking of making movies and things cannot get any better. And all it asks in return is that you remain a loyal customer. Thank you, Netflix.
It doesn't cost you the world.
It only costs around $8 a month. How much did you spend on that dinner date with your boyfriend last week? Or his last birthday present? This could probably be the most rewarding and cheapest relationship you'll ever be in. I mean that in the least pathetic way possible.
It's easy to work things out.
If you have problems with your account they love to talk about it. They don't ignore the problem they have loads of options open for you to contact them (twitter, live-chat, email). It doesn't judge, you can watch the cheesiest rom-com or the daftest action flick and it will still be there for you.
It won't leave.
No matter where you go, within reason. They have it in most countries and you can bring your account with you. It isn't going to leave you anytime soon, in fact, it looks like its on a roller-coaster that only goes up.