You and your boyfriend are in relationship bliss. You kind of forget that there are others involved. For one, his mammy will want to meet you. All of a sudden your little bubble has to burst and you realise that you better make a good impression because you are going to have to deal with them quite a bit and all parties involved would like it to be a somewhat bearable experience when you do have to cross paths.
1. No PDA's
No Irish mammy is going to want to see some heathen sucking her precious son's face off.
2. Dress Appropriately
If you've got massive knockers, maybe try and hide them a little. Are you a devout satanist? Maybe tone down the black lipstick or whatever you crazy kids do!
3. Don't Get Drunk
If you're at a restaurant, wait to see what they order. I would however, avoid tequila shots at all costs and don't get drunk beforehand either!
4. Compliment Them but Don't be Fake
If you like their house, say you like their house. If you think that his mother looks like Mrs Bucket's alter ego Mrs Bouquet, then well maybe just say nothing. However, even if you think the food is the most vile thing in the world then just grin and bear it and know for next time to go for drive thru beforehand. Or else just become a vegetarian.
5. Be On Time
Don't go crazy early, that's just awkward for everyone involved but don't arrive really late because you'll just look rude! If you do show up late, my favourite excuse is that I was helping an old lady get her cat from a tree!
6. Bring a Gift
Don't look like you're trying to buy their affection and don't look like you're splurging non-existent cash either! If his dad is a recovering alcoholic, maybe don't bring him a bottle of whiskey. If the mother is a diabetic, don't throw a box of Lily O'Briens into her face. Harder then you first thought isn't it!
7. Be Helpful
Don't sit there and wait to be served. Ask if they want a hand. If they say no then at least you asked but don't go repeating yourself.
8. Leave Your Phone in Your Bag
It's an awkward reflex. You're not sure what to do so you immediately reach for your phone. Do not do this!
9. Don't Get Into the Middle of a Fight
Every family has their fights and it's between them. Don't try and get your two cents into the argument. If one of them tries to include you in their tiff, hide. Just hide.
10. Don't Lie
If your boyfriend's family are mad into sailing, don't say that you have your own yacht and you go sailing every summer if you don't know your port from you starboard.
11. Don't Hang Off Your Boyfriend
You can't follow him everywhere like a lost puppy. He will have to go to the bathroom by himself. Try and hold a conversation yourself. You're not a child, you can do this. You're a big girl now so put on your big girl pants!
12. Don't Presume You'll Be Sleeping in the Same Bed
If you're staying the night, don't assume you'll be staying in his room. Ask politely where you should put your bag. Don't throw a hissy fit if you realise that you'll be sleeping alone that night!
13. Don't Overshare
Make a good impression and don't be afraid to tell them about yourself but maybe refrain from bring up the 10 day bender you had in Magaluf or that you get heart burn from too much cheese...
You're going out with their son, not them. Be yourself and if they don't like it well then who really cares. Hopefully you'll only have to see them on rare occasions!
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