When "Seeing" Someone Just Won't Cut It Anymore

At what point do you stop "hanging out" and start dating? Is it after you have the talk? What about if the talk never came up so now you're eight weeks in and it's just kind of implied that you're dating? When you've been hittin' it for that long and when people ask, you're still saying "seeing each other" then maybe you have to evaluate it a bit.  If you have a good thing going there's no reason to complicate it but that can only last so long before one person tries to make some form of a commitment, but it's complicated being on either side of it.


There's nothing wrong with wanting to keep things simple, in fact simplicity is the fuckin' best, but some people need to know what's going on. I'll be honest I've been in a few situations where I was just going with the flow because it was just easier than making a decision. This went on for two months. Two months of flitting between being all lovey dovey and acting like strangers.


In that situation we were both content up until the two months mark where I suddenly realised I had no idea what was going on and then it started to weigh on me. When your mates are all with people and they can't meet up because him and his girlfriend are going to the zoo or some shit that's when you realize that you kinda need to figure out what you two are doing because you really want to go to the zoo but can't be a third wheel and don't want to go alone. For you, dates at this stage are really just a couple of drinks and some furious humping then you go home.



The point of keeping it simple is that you're both still free to do what you want while being able to go and have some fun in the middle of the night and not having to explain it the day after. If you only want them, and you get frustrated by missing out? That's a little more than simple ya got going on there.


What about the other end of it though? You mightn't want to have the talk and complicate things/limit yourself. Because that's exactly what you're doing, limiting yourself. You aren't gonna go cheating and you don't want to hurt them so you go with the simplest option: don't say anything and just let whatever happens happen. You're both having fun so it's all good.



All you really need to worry about is being able to identify when things are changing and to make sure you aren't leading them on. Once they start getting a bit clingy it's time to clear up your intentions before it gets messy and you come out looking like the bad guy.


One person is always going to start wondering where you guys are going. So when does it get to that stage? I would say six weeks but that's still a fairly long time so some people need a marker instead of a time stamp. If you've turned down an opportunity with someone else, if you prioritize going to theirs and fucking each other  or if you get upset that you can't meet them...well, then you have your answer right there.  Like an extra thumb there's a definite point where you've to decide either cut it off or just live with it.


Video: "Are They Finally Dating?"



Credit: BuzzFeedViolet

Sean Quigley
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