Good Looks, Late Night Texts & Sweet Talking: The Seven Deadly Signs of a Player

He’s perfect…well, at least that’s what you’ve been trying to convince that cute little head of yours but try as you might, it’s be damn-near impossible to shut yourself off from those growing doubts at the back of your mind. We should all know that it’s perfectly natural (almost expected) to have a few niggling doubts when you’re falling for someone new but when the niggling becomes a gnawing then it’s time to give give him a quick-once over for the tell-tale signs of a player.

1. Your friends are weary of him.

Believe it or not, these super troopers are on your side and all they want at the end of the day is to see you smile and keep you safe. Remember the near-fatal time they stopped you from drunkenly confessing your never-ending love to your ex after your fifth shot? Their razor-sharp cop-on has kept you trucking these last few years so if they smell something fishy on your new beau then you can bet your dead-end degree it’s time to take out the trash.

2. He contacts you on his terms.

Who in this God-given world has the time for that kind of rubbish? If he only drops a line once every blue moon or (heavens forbid), when he’s drunk then rest assured he doesn’t value you for half of what your amazing-self is worth. You’re not a dog so stop jumping every time he throws a bone your way because believe me, when the messages grow shorter between the two of you, they’re only growing longer with someone else.

3. He cold-shoulders you in public.

Oh honey, why are you even putting yourself through this? Unless he’s blind or you were born invisible, this kind of crap is totally unacceptable. All those late night snaps and drunken texts don’t mean jack if he can’t even look you in the eye and ask how you are in the real world. If these little mind games give him a sick kick then leave the boys to their toys and find yourself a man.

4. He’s a cheat.

It’s not worth it. If he has a track record and you find yourself recognising every sign so far then stop trying to delude yourself with the idea of being the girl to change him. A leopard very rarely drops his spots and a girl to a cheat is a piece of meat so get up and get gone before you become his next bit of game.

5. He’s a little too good-looking.

Yes, there are some people out there who managed to fall from the Beauty tree and score every damned branch on the way down but if you find that this little charmer is preened and groomed to the nines all the live-long day then it’s time to face the harsh truth that you’re not the only girl he’s being a doll for.

6. He’s a sweet-talker.

Men aren’t meant to say the right thing, it’s a fact of life, a scientific trait of the species, call it as you like but it just doesn’t happen, ok? If he lacks the stammer and sweaty palms yet all the while keeps you as buttered as Honey Boo Boo’s bacon then you know he’s had a lot of experience, so much so he could probably keep two bacons buttered at the same time.

7. You feel like a puppet.

So, you walk away from him feeling used, dare I say played? Never fear m’dear, you see those two things supporting your butt? They’re called legs. Now put them to use and get free from his play-pen while you’re still this painfully awesome.

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Sarah Power
Article written by
Unnatural blonde with a natural gift for wrapping presents. Never had one lesson. Big fan of Sex and the City, Eddie Vedder and men who have a good strong whistle. Hope to be a responsible woman one day, but for now I'm enjoying being a child in a woman's body. Pet peeve: People who abbreve everything.
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