The Painful Stages Of Seeing Your Ex With Someone Else

You're a new passenger on the train to heartbreak town and you're still in the process of finishing the emergency tubs of ice cream in the freezer. That's when you see it, on the street or on any form of social media. He's moved on, ALREADY? But it's only been two weeks! Here are the stages of seeing your ex with someone new (the dick):

1) Shock.


2) Disbelief.

Nahhh, they're not actually going out. She's not his new girlfriend, there's no possible way.


3) Learning The Truth.

Oh, they are going out. Well, that was a short two weeks of being single for him. Wanker.

4) Pain.

My heart hurts. I can't sleep eat and I can't eat. My stomach constantly feels like it's going to fall out of my arse, this hurts me right in the feels and I think I might die.

5) Investigation.


WHO IS THIS BITCH? *Stalks every form of social media to find out*

6) She's Not Even That Pretty.

Puh-lease, what a downgrade. Sorry, not sorry.

7) No, wait. She Kinda Is.

I hate admitting it. But her eyebrows are on fleek. Mine are still better though. Bitch.


8) Comparison.

What does she have that I don't have? I'm clearly the better choice. Is she really funny or something? Does she do that thing in bed that I wouldn't do? This will forever haunt me, just FYI.

9) Annoyance.

Ugh, he's such a fucking idiot. Like, why would he pick her over me? She looks like a dirty little troll, if you ask me and yes, I'm aware that you didn't but still.

10) Acceptance.

Well, I suppose we both have to move on together. I just wasn't expecting him to move on so quickly. Pig.

11) Pity.

I kind of feel sorry for this new chick, she has no idea what a total arsehole she has to deal with. And how much he sweats in bed *Ewh*. Good luck hun!

Justine Halpin Mulligan
Article written by
22 year old Sociology and Social Policy student in Trinity College Dublin. Interests include romantic walks to the fridge and anything to do with elephants. Wants to be a TV personality when she grows up.
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