The Struggles Of Falling For Your FWB (Friend With Benefits)

We all know the feeling. You've gone and hit the ultimate casual sex jackpot, you have somehow managed to have all the benefits of a relationship (ahem, regular sex and cuddles) without the responsibilities and worries of one. That's right, you and one of your mates have decided to take your friendship to the next level; you have mutually come to the realisation that you think you're both decent looking enough to bang on a regular basis. Fantastic! This goes on for a while, but everyone knows that these situations don't last long without somebody catching the dreaded feelings! (vomit) Here are the struggles of falling for your friend with benefits:

1) It's Fresh And New And You Are Not By Any Means Going To Fall For Them.

I've just come out of a long-term relationship, so I really don't want anything serious. But that doesn't mean I don't have a sex drive and I'm starting to miss the regular nookie. My god, I am frustrated. Oh wait, now I'm having regular sex with *insert name here*. This is fab, and I promise I WILL NOT GET ATTACHED.

2) The Routine Begins.

Oh look, the 3am 'where are you' drunk texts, have become a daytime thing. Now they're in my apartment on a regular basis...and I think I'd rather spend time having sex with them than go to clubs or be set up on actual real dates. This is definitely the best stage, and I'm happy with this. I definitley do not want more than this.

3) Oh Shit, Do I Want More?


Surely not. My head is just confused because we had mind blowing sex earlier. Not because I may somewhere, deep down maybe like them a teensy tiny bit. No. Get rid of that thought immediately.

4) I Think I May Have Feelings.

Oh no, I've woken up, rolled over and realised that I actually like this person. A lot. *Sudden fear* Should I say it to them? Do I keep my feelings a secret? What if they feel the same, this could be amazing. What if they don't? For f*ck sake, I knew this was a bad idea.

5) Being Strategic And Dropping Hints.

Right, I've dropped a few subtle hints but I think they're either too dumb to pick up on them or they're avoiding them completely. I think 'I really like spending time with you' isn't quite a big enough hint.


6) You Blurt Out Your Feelings.

A few tequilas later and I have verbally vomited all over this guys lap. Ugh, this is going to go one of two ways. He/she either feels the exact same way which will be bloody fantastic and we can frolic off into the sunset as a new loved up couple. Or, realistically I've just fucked it all up and they are heading for the hills as far away from me as possible.

7) You've Fucked It Up.

Great, now I have feelings for someone who doesn't have them back, and I don't even get the pleasure of sleeping with them anymore. UGH. How did I let myself end up in this massive shit house?!

8) You May Still Occasionally Bang.


It's been a few weeks, and we occasionally meet up for casual sex. Maybe I can get back into the swing of this and convince myself that I don't have any feelings.

9) You Realise That It's Impossible.

Every time we meet, I can't help but fall a little bit further. This is too hard I need to end it.

10) You're Lonely And Sexually Frustrated .... Again.

Well, I deserve a big fucking pat on the back for ruining something that was so fun and convenient. Oh why must matters of the heart be so complicated?!

11) The Cycle Begins All Over Again.

This is the point where I need to ask myself, do I go and get another FWB, or do I actually go on real dates and attempt to bag myself an actual partner?

Justine Halpin Mulligan
Article written by
22 year old Sociology and Social Policy student in Trinity College Dublin. Interests include romantic walks to the fridge and anything to do with elephants. Wants to be a TV personality when she grows up.
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