The Art of Letting Go - Moving On After A Breakup

"If little by little you stop loving me, I shall stop loving you little by little." Some of the wisest words spoken by one of the most successful poets of the 20th century. Why do we hurt ourselves by harbouring feelings for people who take us for granted, who can't give us the love we deserve? The hardest part about moving on is realising that you might not have somewhere special to go to for a while. This guide on letting the wrong one go will keep you sane. You're not crazy for loving the ones who can't love you, you're only crazy for believing that's all you can do.

1. It may not always be extraordinary but it is yours.

Your life, it isn't always glamorous, or for that matter, interesting but it's yours if you'll take it and stretch it out for all it's worth. It doesn't stop and start at your convenience, whether you like it or not, you're growing rapidly day by day, hour by hour. Whatever you have at this moment, the air you breathe, the songs you cry to, it's all a gift so don't waste it on someone who doesn't value it.

2. If they forget you then you'll forget them.

Whether it was love, a bond or an understanding, it took two to create something so special but it only takes one to break it. If you stay clinging to the remains of past relationships then it's time you learnt there's nothing holding onto you. There's a heart in your chest, a brain in your head, you're more alive than what you could ever imagine so stop working your future around your past. If they are willing to turn their back on you, to forget then let them be warned, you can and will only do the same.


3. Let it sink in.

You need to be honest with yourself if you want to let go, and believe me, that takes a lot of nerve. When our expectations don't even come close to reality it softens the blow to create excuses like blaming the other person, the timing or the difference of opinions. This allows us to believe that it could have worked out if things had been different, it can lead you to believe there's still hope. Be brave, acknowledge the fact that no matter how hard you try you can't force someone to love you. Once the truth sinks in, you'll realise that your life is too precious to be clutching at air.

4. Have a little faith.

It's only natural to want to withdraw into yourself when you've been left on the outside. But do you want to know what the beauty of life is? There is no 'outside', you've never been on the outside, there have only been places where it's harder to adapt to the climate. Letting go doesn't mean you're cutting yourself off from what may have made you who you are, it's the first step to breathing a little easier, finding solid ground. Love is natural, love is real but maybe not tonight, or tomorrow night. Don't lose faith in what you know is the truth.

5. You have so much more to hold onto.

You can spend the next few fleeting years of your youth nursing old wounds but why would you do that to yourself when there's so much beauty in this world? When you let the world hit you at full impact it feels daunting, but don't worry, that's just in your head, it's really your heart swelling within you with gratitude when you let the ashes of old flames settle. Take a second to breathe, don't let others define you and enjoy every last second of your quirky little life.

Colleen Hehir
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