When Your ''Friendship'' Isn't Really Friendship

Maybe it's the dry spell you're going through or maybe this is the real deal but there comes a time when you begin to see a 'friend' in a whole new light. Soon your ''no way I wouldn't go near him'' will turn into ''ah he's alright''. The limbo space can be really confusing because friends are already loving and can be touchy-feely, the sort of characteristics you would find in a potential partner. Here are some red flag signs that you're seeing your friendship isn't really friendship at all.

1. You Find Yourself Looking At Them Differently

There can be a fine line but sometimes you can tell you're starting to like them by the way you're looking at them of late. If the strong eye contact isn't awkward and it leaves you with a fluttery fanny then you're probably crushing hard on this supposed friend.

2. You Think About Kissing/Sleeping With Them

If you find yourself fantasizing about having sex with them, you're already in too deep. Everyone knows sex and friends doesn't work but what if this person wasn't really your friend to begin with? Surely it's acceptable to imagine yourself on top of them then?


3. You Text Them Everyday

Friendships are weird in the sense that you can go weeks without speaking to one another and it wouldn't matter because you both know you're still friends. However, when you start to develop loving feelings for this person, you'll feel the need to contact them much more frequently. It could start off as the occasional call to share gossip or arrange a time to hang out, but as time goes on so does the phone bill as you'll find yourself talking to them for longer and more often.

4. Protective Over Him/Her

Standing up for a friend is kind of the package deal of a friendship. However, when romantic feelings come into play, you'll find yourself jumping to their defense as soon as someone mouths a bad word. This is a tell tale sign that you're falling hard so try to keep this to a minimum or you'll alert all your friends on your new squeeze.


5. You Get Jealous

You know deep down that you have no right whatsoever to be jealous over them being with someone else but you can't always pick and choose when your eyes turn green can you? This is dangerous territory because showing any signs of jealousy can show them your true feelings and leave you looking stupid as fuck. Relax, take a breather, look away if you have to.

6. You Don't Want To Be With Anyone Else

Even if this person is off shagging someone new every weekend, you'll remain loyal to your oblivious new love interest. You've set your sights on this person and as the saying goes, ''you always want what you can't have''. This only makes you more determined and you're not going to let some random dude from the nightclub fuck up your chances of being with this person.


7. You Find Yourself Flirting With Them

There is a fine line between flirting and 'friendly banter'. Excessive flirting and sexual familiarity can unconsciously lead to relinquishing sexual boundaries. It's vital that you know when to reign it in and minimise the sexual energy you're giving off or something that may seem harmless could be misconstrued and taken in a sexual content.

8. You Talk About Sex Too Much

Friends are the ones you can pretty much talk to about anything but if you find yourself regurgitating last nights antics to someone you wish was the one you were banging the night before then you need to cool it down. The talk of sex can cause a sexually frustrated atmosphere and before you know it, you're picking your bra up off their bedroom floor. 

9. Attention To Detail


We're all guilty of forgetting something our friend told us because we were too busy scrolling through Instagram. If you find yourself remembering quirky details about them or insignificant stories they told you, it's because you see this person as more of a friend and you subconsciously want to make them see you actually care about their dog or the fact that they fell asleep on the bus one time and missed their stop still scars them.

10. Response Time

Sometimes we leave our phones down and forget to reply until hours maybe days later. This doesn't happen when you're texting your 'friend'. If you're making an effort to reply quickly and trying your best to continue a conversation that has turned into emojis back and fourth, then this could be a clear indication of attraction.



Video: Can Men And Women Be Friends?

Credit: BuzzFeedViolet




Alexandra Marsden
Article written by
18, journalism student who loves smokes and cans
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