13 Talking Points From Episode 2 Of The 'Great British Bake Off'

With another episode of the new Great British Bake Off in the bag, we thought we'd take a moment to look at some of the top highlights and talking points for your, and our, amusement. For if a tree falls in a forest and there is no one there to hear it does it make a sound? So too, if 12 amateur bakers meet up in a rural marquis and their endeavours are not broadcast and ruthlessly picked over by internet media, has everyone wasted their time? Either way, yes.

1) We would like to reverse adopt Flo

I don't know if this is possible. I haven't looked into it thoroughly but I'm sure this is something that's possible. I know you can certainly adopt children so why not adorable Scousers? If we are living in a world where we are prohibited from appointing ourselves the grandmother of our dreams, then things need to change. Even though it can sometimes be difficult to understand what she's saying as she seems to have had the teeth of Cilla Black implanted in her upper palette, her baking skills and warmth alone mean that it would be relatively easy to look past this.

2) Paul Hollywood has mellowed out

Perhaps it's because Prue Leith has slightly more edge than Mary Berry did, perhaps its because the producers are occasionally slipping him mild sedatives for the safety of the contestants. Either way, it seems like Paul has chilled out to some extent. Two handshakes doled out last week and now he's playing Liam at chess? Who are you and what have you done with the real Paul Hollywood?

3) Steven is a ruthless winning machine

Steven Carter-Bailey. Remember this name, for it is the name taken by a god who has returned to earth. A god whose powers express themselves solely through a very high standard of amateur baking. He's won star baker two weeks in a row and shows no signs of slowing down. He seems to be in a different league and honestly, excluding some tragic accident befalling him where he loses the risk of one or both of his hands or one of those odd selective brain injuries where he loses the power to bake, then it's hard to imagine anyone else winning the series.

4) Noel Fielding has dressed as a punk garden

Noel Fielding has for many years been something of an avant-garde style icon. So, when it was announced that he would be one of the hosts for Channel 4's Bake Off, it was difficult imagining how he would adapt his style for the more demure occasion that is the Bake Off. Well, he has shown us exactly what that attempted balance will look like and it appears he has modeled himself on some kind of punk garden. A rose bush designed by Iggy Pop. A hedge in bloom, manicured by Sid Vicious. That is what Noel has become.

5) Kate made a magic eye out of biscuit and food dye

This week's showstopper challenge was to make a functioning board game out of biscuits. She attempted to make the board game from Jumanji. However, it fell short on several levels, namely that the most interesting thing about the board game in Jumanji was that it sucked the player into a terrifying world ruled by animals. Kate's board evidently did not do this. It also barely resembled a board game and was more akin to an edible magic eye.

6) Prue Leith is like a risque aunt made of Lego

She seems to be settling in well to her new role and is picking up a lot of the double-entendre slack left behind by the departures of Mel & Sue. Her crowning moment was a piece of compass based innuendo with Chris, which didn't really make sense, but hey ho. She also looks like a fun aunt made of Lego, and that, at least in my books, is a real boon.

7) We were slightly heartbroken to hear that Julia has a husband

This one is again quite a personal point. Every viewer will find at least one contestant each series that they will slightly fall in love with and imagine what a life together with them and all the cakes would like; joyous initially, until our incredibly calorie heavy, cake-based diet lead to increased health problems and ultimately, an early grave. This season, it has been Julia for me, so it was slightly upsetting to hear that she a husband, with whom she owns a dog. Some things just aren't meant to be.

8) Noel Fielding doing a 'grown up' voice talking about cakes is still weird

Noel Fielding's entire being seems somewhat anathema to Bake Off, and yet, he is now one of the hosts. Hearing him talk, not in his usual free-wheeling surreal style, but instead in a far more earnest and restrained manner, as if he were talking to his doctor about an anomaly in a blood-test result. He still seems a smashing choice and brings a sense of welcome unpredictability to the whole thing.

9) Seemingly new contestants have appeared

It always happened in the second episode of the series, where they try to focus on some of the other bakers that received less attention in the first episode. As such it felt like there were a few contestants who just slithered out of the woodwork who we've never seen before, namely Tom and James. Who the hell are they and why were they being hidden from us?

10) Paul Hollywood cuts up cakes like a murderer

It's always been a difficult thing to watch with Bake Off, seeing a beautiful, elaborately designed show-stopper that has had hours of work poured into its construction, be ruthlessly decimated by the knife of Paul Hollywood. It also seems that the more beautiful the cake, the more brutal he is with their destruction. He wields that bread-knife like a lunatic and absolutely bashes apart whatever carefully constructed piece of sugary art each baker presents to him, like some capricious god unimpressed by the offerings presented to him by his lowly disciples.

11) Julia doesn't really seem to know what a board game is

She made essentially a scale model of a garden path. But don't worry Julia, I will always love you.

12) Kate's obscure hobbies continue to surprise us.

Blacksmithing last week and now the restoration of antique furniture, a truly unbelievable combo of hobbies. If we're taking bets for what else will be revealed about her next week my money's on bee-keeping.

13) Tom, as a human, is majestic

Despite it feeling like he was largely looked over in last week's episode, he really hit his stride this week. He is like some magnificent camp robot designed specifically to make us feel envious of his many obvious talents. A robot designed purely to highlight our own inadequacies, and he is extravagantly successful at this.