A Beginner's Guide On How To Speak Like, Totally D4

A Beginner's Guide On How To Speak Like, Totally D4

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly really put Southside Dublin on the map, particularly D4. For instance, without the former rugby player's pearls of wisdom, and creator Paul Howard's genius book, would we ever have known how to get by on €10,000 a day? Probably not.

Slang, amongst other things, is what sets D4 heads apart from everyone else. Here's a quick guide to understanding D4 speak. So if and when you're chatting to someone from this postcode, you're well prepared.


A well known greeting in D4 land. These southsiders are incapable of pronouncing the t at the end. And 'Right' is always roysh.

Totes Morto

This is informal speak and used when someone is expressing embarrassment at someone or something. You're never 'Totally mortified,' you're 'Totes Morto.'

Example: "I'm totes morto I spilled my caramel macchiato frappuchino, AWL over myself."



Used instead of like, this is uttered in EVERY sentence, once if not multiple times.

"I was loike, totes morto. It was loike focking majorly bad dude.' Which brings us to our next one.


F**k morphs into fock. Always.

Expressing excitement or praise


One would say, 'Totes amazeballs.' By the same token when something is amazing, it's not just amazeballs, it's unreal. Actually, it's Un-Focking-Real. Said as one word, broken down into three syllables with a mesh of two in the 'Focking.'


Real word 'scored.' When it comes to kissing someone, 'meeting' or god forbid 'shifting' doesn't come into a D4 head's vocabulary. Example:

Did you see the focking babe he scorred last noish?

One might have to ask more questions as this could also be interpreted as having sex with someone. 'They scorred eachother last night.'



To bestow praise on someone. 'He's a ledge.'

Making A Tit Of Yourself

Embarrassing yourself, making an idiot or an ejit of yourself. Example, when talking about another person, 'She made a total tit of herself.'

Focking morto for her.

Going Shopping

When a D4 head says they're going shopping, they're going to Dundrum.

Source of Ross O'Carroll Kelly on featured image: His Twitter account, loike 

Also Read: A Beginners Guide On How To Speak Wexican 

Niamh Burke

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