5 Easy Ways To Become A Celebrity Without Talent

Our world is a celebrity culture. We've talked before about famous folks who don't live up to their reputations, so I guess we're as susceptible to the celebrity bug as anyone. We have people today whose sole ambition is to be famous, but for no particular reason. If you're one of those sad individuals who represents how fucked our generation is, you can make it all the way to the top with our five easy ways to become a celebrity without talent. Of course, becoming a mass murderer is a pretty effective method (just ask Charles Manson, Ted Bundy or Alexander Breivik), but for some strange reason we can't legally recommend it. This damn country...

5) Reality TV show

Ah yes, here's one of the easy ways to become a celebrity. Some of the stupidest, most vacuous people ever to become a celebrity have been brought to us via the magic of reality TV. That's why people like Joey Essex (who actually admitted he can't read a clock) have become household names. May God have mercy on us all.

4) Song contest

I'm talking about shows like X Factors and The Voices. You may think, "But wait, you need talent to make a splash on those shows!" Oh, you poor naive baby. These shows always let a truly awful act make it to the final rounds of the show just for the lolz. These are people who made a mint off the back of being hilariously shit. Come on, you can definitely think of at least one example of this...

3) Go viral

If you have no problem with public humiliation, you can always go with the viral video route. Get yourself in an incredibly embarrassing situation, or say something stupid and ridiculously repeatable, and you're onto a winner.


2) Sex tape

If you're an individual who isn't burdened with class or shame, sex tape celebrity may be the thing for you. Just look at Paris Hilton or, even better, Kim Kardashian. They were barely blips on the celebrity radar before their tapes (which documented their piss poor sexual technique) took the internet by storm. Of course, they did have big celebrity potential prior to their sex tapes' release, as they came from pretty well-known, wealthy families. However, the smut videos were really the match to the powder keg of famousness. 

1) Be really, really obnoxious

It's a proven fact: everybody likes an arsehole. Whether it's a girl who lusts after a prick or just the viewing public in general, we want obnoxious people in our lives. Being an incredibly rude bell-end works for the likes of Simon Cowell, who has no discerning talents apart from being able to wear a polo neck in public without dying of embarrassment. I mean, come on people, Jeremy Clarkson got rich and famous for fuck's sake!


Joey Flanagan
Article written by
His friends call him Joe, you can call him Mr. Flanagan. A keen taxidermist and prolific writer of erotic Fair City fan-fiction, Joey's accomplishments include completing the Camino de Santiago, getting Ray D'Arcy's autograph over 200 times, and knocking a pig unconscious with one square punch to its jaw.

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