This isn't just notions, this is Marks & Spencer notions. In fact, their entire business plan is probably built on notions. We went down to our local M&S to prove how notional they really are:
1. Chocolate Fruit & Nut Salami
€7.50 for this abomination. SEVEN FIFTY!
2. Belgian Chocolate Coated Marzipan Balls
Not a snack you'd be buying for the cinema. And of course, it has to be Belgian chocolate.
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3. Murcia Lemon Bucks Fizz
Bucks Fizz is the poor man's Prosecco, but we like it that way.
4. Prawn & Crab Macaroni Cheese
Butchered a classic here.
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5. Amaretto Biscotti Yoghurt
Way too fancy for a yoghurt.
6. Cornish Cloudy Farmhouse Cider with Sicilian Lemon
Just put a feckin' slice of lemon in your pint instead.
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7. Raviolini Italian Ricotta, Porcini & Truffle
What's wrong with a bowl of spaghetti bolognese?
8. Quark
Doesn't even sound real.
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9. Pork & Bramley Apple Sausage Rolls
An abomination.
10. Lamb Kofta & Yogurt Handcooked Crisps
What is even going here?
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11. Sicilian Lemon & Chili Coated Peanuts & Cashews
What is the big feckin' deal with lemons from Sicily?
12. Billionaire Bullion Bar
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I'll admit, I have had one of these and they are bleeding deadly. But €6.40 is ridiculous.
13. Prawn, Coconut & Chilli Lollipops
Who exactly is buying these for their lunch?
14. Chocolate & Stem Ginger Ice Creams
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Why does this insufferable store find it so hard to keep it simple? This sounds rotten.
15. Watermelon & Lime Fresca
Sounds like an all-round bad combination.
16. Lemon & Bilberry Posset
What on earth is a 'posset'? Notions, that's what.
See Also: The 8 Worst Gobshites You'll Find In The Cinema
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