This isn't just notions, this is Marks & Spencer notions. In fact, their entire business plan is probably built on notions. We went down to our local M&S to prove how notional they really are:
1. Chocolate Fruit & Nut Salami
€7.50 for this abomination. SEVEN FIFTY!
2. Belgian Chocolate Coated Marzipan Balls
Not a snack you'd be buying for the cinema. And of course, it has to be Belgian chocolate.
3. Murcia Lemon Bucks Fizz
Bucks Fizz is the poor man's Prosecco, but we like it that way.
4. Prawn & Crab Macaroni Cheese
Butchered a classic here.
5. Amaretto Biscotti Yoghurt
Way too fancy for a yoghurt.
6. Cornish Cloudy Farmhouse Cider with Sicilian Lemon
Just put a feckin' slice of lemon in your pint instead.
7. Raviolini Italian Ricotta, Porcini & Truffle
What's wrong with a bowl of spaghetti bolognese?
Doesn't even sound real.
9. Pork & Bramley Apple Sausage Rolls
10. Lamb Kofta & Yogurt Handcooked Crisps
What is even going here?
11. Sicilian Lemon & Chili Coated Peanuts & Cashews
What is the big feckin' deal with lemons from Sicily?
12. Billionaire Bullion Bar
I'll admit, I have had one of these and they are bleeding deadly. But €6.40 is ridiculous.
13. Prawn, Coconut & Chilli Lollipops
Who exactly is buying these for their lunch?
14. Chocolate & Stem Ginger Ice Creams
Why does this insufferable store find it so hard to keep it simple? This sounds rotten.
15. Watermelon & Lime Fresca
Sounds like an all-round bad combination.
16. Lemon & Bilberry Posset
What on earth is a 'posset'? Notions, that's what.
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