"What's your radius set to?" "What's your age-range set to?" "Have you seen my Uncle Keith on there? For your own good, stay away from my Uncle Keith." Before the advent of Tinder, these questions would have made little sense. Now though, in this brave new world of modern dating, it seems everyone is suddenly going on about radii; geometry lessons in school ought specifically to utilise this to their advantage.
I know one lady who is so enamoured with Tinder and online dating that it has detrimentally affected how she interacts with people in real life. Now, whenever we go out together on the prowl, when she's evaluating any fellas around that she doesn't think quite fit the bill, she will go up to them and swipe her hand, left across their face, while loudly commenting on their physical imperfections. It's a nightmare.
Now Tinder has deigned it time to begin to try and slither its way more generally into our lives by not confining itself purely to our phone screens. They have released the Tinder web app. You can now objectify vast swathes of humanity, within a given radius, far more efficiently and in far more places. They are basically targeting it at college students in lectures and tutorials who are not allowed use their phones but can be pretending to work on their laptops, whereas in reality, they are booking their next return trip to the bone-zone.
Tinder said about as much when they announced the app back in March:
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"Introducing Tinder Online: a fun, new web experience and your English professor’s worst nightmare. Mobile phones not allowed in class? Just fire up your laptop and swipe incognito. Cubicle life got you down? Now you can toggle between spreadsheets and Super Likes in a flash. “Not Enough Storage?” Not a problem. Don’t let life get in the way of your Tinder game."
God help us all.
