A graduate has expressed his outrage at, what he feels, is an act of 'blatant discrimination' after a prospective employer refused to recognise his university degree.
Brendan 'Mad Dog' Power, 22, has threatened legal action against an interviewer who he feels "deliberately ignored the perfectly valid" Bachelors degree that he'd gained at the 'University Of Life'.
Speaking to CollegeTimes.com Mr. Power, who would refuse to respond to us unless referred to by his self-ascribed moniker, 'Mad Dog', said, "I'm a reasonable dude. I'm mellow, I pride myself on my sense of proportion, but I didn't spend 4 years studying at the University of Life to have some suit tell me that the degree from the entirely conceptual institution I attended is worthless*."
*It is worth noting that the above quotation is an approximate summation of what we believe Mr. 'Mad Dog' Power to have said after our editorial team spent some 30 minutes trying to remove most of the profanities and slurs from his direct quote.
When we leveled the same charge at Mr. 'Mad Dog' Power, saying that the 'University of Life' is not a real collegiate institution, a wry, knowing smile played across his face, before he tapped the side of his head, saying, "In here it's real. In here it is."
He then went on to extensively list the syllabus he undertook during his studies, "A module in 'Keepin' it Real'; a module in 'Stayin' True To Myself'; an elective evening course in 'Street Smarts', and, on top of all that, I also took a year abroad studying in the Frankfurt School of Hard Knocks. And dya know what? I aced every damn one of them... except for the evening course in 'Street Smarts' which, to be fair, I was docked points on attendance as the tutorial times clashed with some Spin classes I'd already paid for, and anyone who knows anything about 'Mad Dog' knows that I'm not one to lose out on a pre-paid deposit! Mad Dog!"
When we asked to see a copy of the degree he claims to have been awarded by the 'university' he simply produced a crumpled and slightly singed rizzler from his pocket with 'Smashing Lyf 24/7, UL' written on it. We pointed out that not only were most degrees not printed on old cigarette papers but that 'UL' was already an abbreviation for 'University of Limerick'. He got very angry and attacked our interviewing team. For our own safety we drew the interview to a close, and managed to escape, incurring acceptable damages to a microphone, some wiring and, unfortunately, an intern - who eventually succumbed to their injuries.
When we called the Irish National Framework of Qualifications (NFQ) - the body in charge of overseeing the awarding of educational accolades in the country - for comment, there was a lengthy pause on the phone before they replied, "Why... What, I mean, no of course that's not a real institution. What are you a fucking moron? Not only are you wasting our time, but you're wasting yours as well. If you don't stop calling, we will cause you physical pain."
We attempted to get in touch with the interviewer who refused to acknowledge Mr. 'Mad Dog' Power's degree, but the Burger King manager refused to give us a quote.
We would like to dedicate this article to the memory of the intern who perished in the attack. Rest in Peace... Keith?