I shall never forget the one piece of advice imparted to me by my father, "Son, if ever you end up performing a residency in Vegas, and you invite an audience member on stage and attempt to clamber up them as if you are some show-business koala and they a eucalyptus tree, then for the love of god make sure that they are sturdy." While it was optimistic of my father to presume that there would ever be sufficient demand for a purveyor of irreverent online content to do a Vegas residency, his words stuck with me.
However, after events which transpired in Las Vegas last night it seems that - as with everything my father said and did - these words were directed at me, they were actually intended for Lady Gaga. For last night Lady Gaga invited a fan, who has been named only as Jack, on stage with her during a performance in Vegas. She then, mid-song, attempted to sort of clambering onto Jack, as if he were Mount Everest and she a sort of amalgam of Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay - but in spanks. As he hoisted her into the air, he lost his footing and catastrophically plummeted off the stage.
Now, imagine this, imagine for a moment that you are Jack. That you have finally had the chance to attend the concert of a singer who you have long admired. A singer who you have idolised for years. A singer who, during her show, made a countless number of your wildest fantasies come true by actually inviting you on stage to perform with her. And then, as she has just summitted you, during the crescendo of a song, your knees give way and you hurtle off the edge of the stage, dragging her down with you, like Holmes and Moriarty tumbling off the Reichenbach Falls.
— The Pop Hub (@ThePopHub) October 18, 2019
The audience were shocked, with one member writing on Reddit that they "legitimately thought she was dead". Despite the severity of the fall looking absolutely heinous from every conceivable angle, they were both miraculously okay.
The singer was helped to her feet by security guards and immediately proceeded to calm the audience saying, "Everything's okay. The only thing that's not okay is we need some stairs for the damn stage so I can get back up."
She also then proceeded to console Jack, who was in tears. "Don't worry, everything's find. It's not your fault," she told him.
She then proceeded to perform a terrifyingly energetic rendition of Bad Romance, showing that she'd sustained no lasting damage from the fall.
Lady Gaga fell off the stage and then proceeded to kill the Bad Romance choreography like nothing ever happened. The level of professionalism... far too much! pic.twitter.com/X6EFxhlGIL
— Lady Gaga Facts (@LGMonsterFacts) October 18, 2019