I'm an angry person. There are no two ways about it. I have various things that set me off, but one that stands out among the rest is Facebook, particularly the people on it. Facebook has really thought me a lot, particularly about myself.
There are only so many times you can go through your news feed, see some of the posts and throw a few overhand rights at a wall before you realise that maybe, just maybe, the website is not good for me and my short fuse. As an outlet for my vitriol, I have decided to create a list of the types of people on Facebook.
1. The Lad
I'll start of with an easy one because they leave themselves open for ridicule with the shite they post. First, there are the drinking statuses. "Ye messy one with the boys tonight ye." Yeah, because we all needed to know about your plans to go out with the "lads" and lose your jaw tonight. Thanks for letting us know so I can avoid the spot you are going to.
Then there is this new trend where one of them will add a girl and their lad mates will comment on it trying to embarrass them (sorry but that is already done for them). You'll find comments under the post like: "This the one you were talking about?" (followed by loads of silly emojis)." Yeah. Hilarious. What is with this trend of putting cheeky in front of everything? "Going for a cheeky Nandos." "A few cheeky drinks with the lads." Stop the planet, I want to get off.
2. Gym Heads
There is nothing wrong with being healthy and keeping yourself in good shape. However, what annoys me are the people who give a running commentary on their workouts. Exercise, be proud of yourself, but don't spam the news feed everyday with gym statuses.
What did people do when they went to the gym before social media came around? They just went. They didn't have to shout it from every rooftop. Could you imagine if someone was in a nightclub constantly talking about how they go to the gym, how much they lift etc.? People would be annoyed, so why do it on social media?
3. The "Do-Gooder"
I am a big fan of good deeds. Helping someone out when they need it. There is this thing though where a person does a good deed and doesn't write about it all over Facebook and those are the best kind of good deeds. A good deed is meant to be selfless, but when you need to tell everyone about how good of a person you are it becomes a selfish act. If you're that good of a person would it not show by itself? There is no need to try and convince yourself and everyone else of it. Like, fuck off.
4. The White Knight
This ties in with the previous point. These guys raid the comments section looking for girls to defend. They do it in such a desperate and creepy way that it is cringe worthy. Also defined as "nice guys", these are the same people that make girls feel guilty by bringing up previous things they've done for the girl before when they don't get their way. Take a break from defending every "m'lady" you come across and have a glass of milk.
5. Keyboard Warriors
The internet gives people a special kind of confidence. They feel that they are behind the screen that there are no coincidences to what they say, but here is the thing: the coincidence is that you look like a spineless idiot. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and the internet is a beautiful place for discussion on various topics, however, don't throw in insults and threats that you wouldn't use in person.
Video: 14 People On Facebook Who Need To Shut Up