We all love a good drinking game or seven. It makes the physical act of drinking way more enjoyable because now we have a load of rules to follow to get ourselves plastered as efficiently as possible.
I've played my fair share of drinking games in my time from Kings and Beer Pong, to 1,2,3 Drink (it's exactly as it sounds) and Edward Beerhands. But while 'Never Have I Ever' is a close second for the drinking game I most despise, I must give that title to the cruel mistress that is the dreaded TV or Movie Drinking Game.
I have a lot of problems with this type of drinking game, but I'll start my little bitch about how misleading they all are. You look at the list of rules above and you think it looks easy. It seems manageable, but nope, you are horribly mistaken my good sir or madam. If you somehow convince me to play one of these damn games, 30 minutes in and all I'll want to do is stop drinking because my stomach is on fire and my head is spinning. Then Aragorn does something badass and I have to drink again because Aragorn's a prick for being so badass.
There are thousands of variations of these games. Breaking Bad drinking game, Jurassic Park drinking game, Gilmore Girls, Jaws, Trailer Park Boys, The Babadook; you name it, someone's come up with it. There's even a website dedicated to it - www.reeldrinkinggames.com. Don't waste your time looking for a hidden gem; each and every one of these games is just as shit as the next one.
My beef with these types of games isn't just the poor state they leave me in way sooner than I'd like, but also because they're so boring.
You play a game of Kings, you never know what card you're going to get and you never know how that cards rule is going to play out. Beer Pong is a game of suspense and tense concentration and you always lose your shit when you finally alley-oop a shot in after ten minutes of shameful failure. The only thing that's suspenseful and exciting about a TV drinking game is waiting to find out when you have to drink next, which you soon realise is about every 30 seconds, so even that gets boring and repetitive.
It also means you have to pay attention to the movie, not to enjoy it, but so you have an excuse to get drunk (like you need one). So you sit there in awkward silence waiting for the next thing to happen till that one person who's way to into the game yells DRINK!
My other complaints? Well, you're not competing against anyone, you're just being told when to drink. You remember those 'drink at your own pace' ads with the magic hands forcing people to drink faster than they wanted to? That's basically what a TV or Movie drinking game feels like.
Also where's the challenge? Games like beer pong or quarters require skills with a 'z'. Kings and Never Have I Ever requires the tactical mind of a war general to get your friends plastered while you retain the ability to stand upright. Edward Beerhands requires the steely determination to stop yourself taking a whizz. There is no challenge in a TV or Movie drinking game other than trying to keep your drink down. It's the equivalent of pressing a button when you're told to; anyone can do it.
If you do insist on getting drunk with the aid of your TV, then play the moustache game. It's way more fun and it's hilarious when it all lines up.