People, they’re everywhere, it’s almost damn-near impossible to swing a cat nowadays for fear of hitting one of those seven billion air-sniffers who waddle the planet. Tell me this though, how many of these humanoids would you consider to be Good People? Better yet, would you consider yourself to be a good person? If you’re as blind as a bat like me and can’t tell for squat if you’re ripe enough for society then take a leaf out of this guide and we’ll have you waddling in no time.
1.Listen to Led Zeppelin
This is the single most important piece of advice anyone in life can give you. Take it as a golden sheet from the bible, you will instantly become more knowledgeable and eerily wise from quoting Stairway to Heaven. Good people listen to good music, end of.
2. Spit Out the Bitter Lemon
Remember folks, it is always, and I mean ALWAYS better to be the person who smiles than the one who doesn’t smile back. Yes, there are people in this world who may be wittier or have a better ass than you but is that reason enough to begrudge them and hide yourself away? HELL TO THE NO! We’re all trying our best to make it so enough with the jealousy and here’s to hoping we all get to where we deserve to be. Good people make the most of what they have and don’t have time for pity parties.
3. Stop Judging People.
The lives of others do not concern you half as much as you may think so try to keep your mouth shut every now and then, didn’t you know, it helps to keep the flies out? Good people know that a persons race, religion or sexuality isn't worth a damn to be judged upon, it’s their taste in music that really counts.
4. Manners can go a long way.
No one wants to see the contents of your mouth while you eat and people who can’t be arsed to say please or thank you are going straight to hell. Carry yourself well and treat others like you would yourself. Only hipsters and Republicans feel that it’s their God-given right to trample about the place.
5.Remember the Three Cs.
Keep calm, stay cool and remain collected. Good people know that there isn’t a single problem in the world that’s worth growing a wrinkle or having a stroke over, it’s the oldest piece of advice worth quoting but take a nap and watch some Steve Wilkos, your life won’t seem so messed up after that priceless remedy. Also, who doesn’t want to be the Calm Buddha of the group? You will attract positivity if you emit positivity (that’s the beauty of physics, right there).
6. Learn the Art of Negotiating.
If you work hard enough you can achieve whatever the hell you want in life, learning that it won’t be fed to you from a golden spoon is the first step. Life is like a rat race, we all want to come out on top but that doesn’t mean to need to trip every second runner you meet, a good person knows that you need to give a little to get a little.
7. Learn to Let Go.
Right, read and retain, if it didn’t work out then let it go. If you want to become a better person then you need to move on from whatever history your clutching to. Regardless of what happened, the best step forward is being the one with half a brain and hoping that the door doesn’t hit them on the way out of your life. Don’t be the weirdo who goes all dark and makes a voodoo doll of pain.
8. Let People In.
Humans, we’re just about the darned most sociable creatures out there. Don’t go against your nature, we’re made to be open and welcoming to others, I mean, if we were meant to live as islands or rocks then God would have made us as islands or rocks. Be the one who makes plans for the future, but what is more, be the one who plans to keep their friends in the future. It doesn’t take a lot, promise to take them for coffee sometime next week, or a trip to the zoo on the next fine day, people will grow to trust you if they know you’re there to stick around.
9. Accept that you can’t function properly.
So your eyes tear up with joy when you hear a kitten meow or you can’t help but frantically flutter your hands about when you try to prove a point? Welcome to the club, kid, there isn’t a soul alive that can keep their emotions in check so stop trying to be such a cold faced wall. Cry when you want to cry, in fact, cry and laugh at them same time if you like. Good people have a better chance at understanding the chaotic world around them if they first accept the chaos in their mind. You’re weird, get used to it.
10. Just be You.
The best step to becoming a better person (other than listening to Led Zep), is to be you. You’ve always been one of the good guys but like the rest of us, you probably had a few hiccups and did some stupid things in the past. Learn from your mistakes, love everyone because they’re trying to love you and don’t be stupid, stupid can be dangerous.