Obviously, I'm talking about a big break-up here: an earth-shatterer, a game-changer, a life-discombobulator. You're single again and you've kinda forgotten what it's like. You miss the comfort of your cosy relationship and you're jonsing to have it back, desperation is setting in. Don't give in! There is light at the end of the tunnel. Without further ado, here are 10 steps to perfectly get over a break-up:
1) Accept the fact it'll be turbulent
2) Think positive
There are always upsides to breaking-up, there must've been a reason for the break-up after all. Think of it as a fresh start, this allows you to focus on something that is important to you that you haven't given your full attention, and most importantly, gives you a chance to find someone better. And don't give us that shit "But what if I never find someone better?!" because if you look hard enough, finding your upgrade is just a matter of time.
3) Don't persistently contact your ex-partner
Of course, when people separate amicably they can stay friends and chat on the reg. But if you haven't established this cool relationship and you're still contacting your ex when you're drunk or feeling lonely, you look like a desperate freak. And that's not an attractive colour on you.
4) Take care of yourself
Don't fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself, crawling under your duvet, and trying to eat your feelings. Crazy as it sounds, getting fat and depressing after a break-up will not make a more attractive prospect for someone new. I know, weird right? Get plenty of sleep, eat right, and get some exercise.
5) Don't go into self-destruct mode
Sure, you may feel the urge to go out partying more and become more sociable again, and that's great! But do try to avoid the spiral of binge drinking, drugs, and having revenge sex with your ex's mates. None of those things were ever a good idea.
6) Recognise it's normal to not feel like yourself
Losing your self-identity is all part of it, after all a massive chunk of your life has just been ripped away. Just bear in mind it was malignant... like not recognising your face in the mirror after getting a dodgy mole removed.
7) Socialise with the right crowd
This'll be a rough time for you, so surround yourself with positive people. Real friends, the ones who always know the right things to say.
8) Rebounds are genuinely helpful
Don't fear the rebound. It helps wipe your recent relationship memory banks, helping you start fresh. That exciting new chemistry with all it's uncertainties suddenly becomes a lot more interesting than your dead relationship. This is because...
9) Ultimately, your brain plays tricks
You need to appreciate that what you're going through is a neurological reaction: you're basically experiencing withdrawal symptoms for a way of life that your brain had grown accustomed to. So it hits you nostalgia, flashbacks, and the desperate urge to text your ex. Your brain can be a real A-hole.
10) Give yourself time
As much as I'm loathe to spout tired clichés, time really is a great healer. You may have to wait awhile but eventually you will get though it.