The sun is shining, and everyone is out drinking, that can only mean one thing... Leaving cert time!
Exams are the most important part of every persons education, you can spend weeks, months, years preparing for that final exam to change your life.. but when the time comes and you're sitting in that exam hall, no amount of preparation can surffice for the dreaded 'proooocrastination'
1. The Clock
Okay, I have two and a half hours..loads of time! If I brainstorm for 15 minutes and split the questions equally...
Tick... tock... tick... tock... is it bad that i'm finished after 40 minutes?
God that clock is really loud... Why is there so many clocks? oh hey, that one is a minute fast, silly silly Junior Cert people.
2. Your Drink
This is probably the most water you'll drink all year.. "hmm he has coke, why didn't I think of bringing coke?"
I just presumed water was the social norm, it doesn't even have a taste. But hey, quick water break and back to work.. Riggggght after... I just peel off this label real quick.
3. Rough Work
We've all been told to jot down quotes, dates, anything we just learned off right before we went into the exam hall.
You WILL spend at least 15 minutes writing down EVERYTHING you know, and maybe just making stuff up as you go along...
A page later and you think you've got the world in your hands, buuuuut 30 minutes later you've managed to fit all those points into your essays in just two pages... The f*ck else did I learn over the past two years?
4. Your hot English teacher
So he wears glasses, has a fluffy mop of hair, and is rocking that (I just don't give a fuck) stubble...
Why have I never noticed til' now how attractive you are? Maybe because I always fall asleep in class.. God those jeans are tight, that bum though.
You rock that hipster look Mr.Ryan.. you dirty divil you.
I wonder what our babies would look like?
5. Going to the toilet
Everyone seems to have a weak bladder when it comes to the exam hall, and whether you realise it or not, you will watch every single person walk up, and over to the door..and ooooh the door opened again, who is it??
I wonder why her hand is up.. better not be for more paper, the stupid bitch.. oh, she just needs to pee... Bet she's cheating.
So you've convinced yourself you need a five minute break to give the giant bubble on the corner of your finger a break, I'll just draw a flower.. lets give it some colour.. a whole garden and a swing and sun later you realise this is in fact English PAPER TWO! Art is tomorrow but fuck, that's a good doodle!
7. How bad Ms.Lynch actually dresses
I'd give her, mid-30's.. GOD, WHY IS SHE WEARING A SWEATER VEST?? What is that?
She could be pretty, like those sexy teacher in the music videos, take down the hair, and take off those GIANT glasses...
I could work with that. God I should be a professional stylist. At least I know I've options if this fails.
Seriously though those shoes..
8. Adding up the points needed to pass
God bless the HEAR scheme.. right I need a C3, I can do that.. how hard can it be.. paper 1- Piece of cake.. I just need to get like a good 60% on paper two, I know Hamlet, and Ophelia.. and that Polonious guy.
God what a ridiculous story, they're all cray cray and just die in the end.
That's nothing on good oul Seamus Heaney, he'd better come up, or I'm fooooked!
He has to.. didn't he die recently? Poor man, great poet though.
9. The Coughing Game
*AHEM* .. *AHEM AHEM* After a good ten minutes half the hall is coughing and even the bad ass Junior Certs have joined in and the teachers are going mental #classic
10. Spotting the talent
I've never realised how hot some of these guys are...
Still though, I wouldn't say no. Let's rate them 1-10 .. ugly..ugly..ugly..creep.. been there..done that.. I don't even know that guy..
Oh Darren, you beautiful specimen, not quiet as hot as your older brother, but still.. Thank you Ms.Conner's for your perfectly sculpted offspring.
Well, technically I'm studying Biology, genetics can be a wonderful thing.