It's the inevitable social chore that chugs around every festive season. The 12 pubs of Christmas. A night where you put yourself and your liver through a barrage of obstacles that neither of you fully recover from. But who are the characters that join you on this drunken escapade? They're a motley crew of rag-tag ne'er-do-wells, that's who. Here are the 12 people on your 12 pubs of Christmas.
1. The Rule Nazi
"Okay you have to drink every pint through your right nostril with your wrong hand while hopping on one leg and singing Amhrán Na bhFiann". No thank you. Annoyingly strict on the rules on what is a glorified piss-up
2. The Time Nazi
Very similar to the rule Nazi, these two characters will inevitably be in cahoots. Forty minutes in each pub and if you're late then you have to do a shot of tequila. This person is the main reason you'll be puking your ring up the following day.
3. The Machine
This person takes the 12 pubs in their stride. It's just a regular Saturday night for them. They will astound everyone by continuing to drink beyond the allotted 12 pints. They are a miracle of modern science and should be harnessed for their alcohol resistant properties.
4. The Lightweight
Joins the festivities with the best of intentions, but god love 'em they just don't have the constitution. They are gee-eyed by pub five.
5. The One Who Shows Up Late
This chancer thinks that they can arrive at any stage of the proceedings and claim to have done the 12 pubs. It doesn't work like that bucko, you have to down five penalty pints before we'll even let you sit at the table.
6. The One That Doesn't Show Up At All
There's always one. To be fair, they're probably better off. But you'll never let them know that.
7. The Christmas Enthusiast
Decked out in gaudy Christmas jumpers, reindeer ears and covered in Christmas lights. They're enjoying the spectacle a little too much.
8. The Cheapskate
This fella baulks at the idea of shelling out 60/70 quid on a night out. Will have a hip flask or a tactical can for the duration of the night.
9. The Sloth
The arch nemesis of the Time Nazi. This person wants to savour every last drop of each of their 12 pints.
10. The One That Only Drinks Bottles
Again a stone cold chancer. if you want the prestige of having successfully completed a 12 pubs then it's pints all the way.
11. The Route Planner
Thinks of themselves as a seasoned scoop monkey and prides themselves on knowing every bar in town. Handy to have around although their directions may become more and more unreliable as the night progresses.
12. The Stubborn One
You have to take your hate off to these guys and gals. They are finishing the 12 pubs come hell or high water. They might get sick several times, they might disappear for a couple of hours and they may dip out to line the stomach but rest assured they will have drank 12 pints by the end of the night.