Being in your final year of college is a really weird place to be. On the one hand, you're working your ass off trying to catch up on three, four or more years of hard procrastination. But on the other hand, in the back of your mind you know that in just a few short weeks (fuck) you'll never have to write an essay again at 3AM the day before it's due again, and real life awaits (fuck). This is when your parents throw a spanner in the works by calling up and interrogating you about your life. Luckily, most final year students have no problems telling a few little white lies to get out of trouble...
1. Yes, I'm Definitely Remembering To Eat Healthily!
Mozzarella sticks and leftover pizza at 1am and 18 cups of coffee per day is what Jamie Oliver recommends, right?
2. I Have Absolutely Been Saving Money.
You know that you have a huge student loan to pay off and savings are important but you've only got a few more months of those student-only deals, right?
3. I Spent All Day Yesterday Applying For Jobs!
Translation: 'I looked at the graduate jobs website, got half way through an application, began regretting my choice of degree, became an emotional wreck and crawled back into bed with a Dominos pizza.'
4. I Made A Revision Plan To Organise My Time.
Finishing that essay the night before it was due was the only time you could fit it into your hectic schedule.
5. I'm Feeling Really Good About The Future, To Be Honest.
No matter how calm, collected and confident you are, you will absolutely definitely have a wobble and start worrying about your destiny at some point. It's a simple fact of final year!
6. I Definitely Do Have Time To Go Out Tonight!
Did I mention that revision plan I totally made? I can deffo squeeze in a few pints, no worries.
7. I'm Pretty Sure No One Else Has Got Things Sorted Out Either.
You actually have no idea how true this is, but the sheer force of wishful thinking might bend reality until it is...
8. I'm Still Loving My Degree. I'm So Glad I Picked It.
By final year, any enthusiasm you had for the subject has been utterly and totally stamped out of you and now you're a mindless automaton slowly growing to accept the fact that your degree is not the one you needed for the job you want.
9. Coming To University Was Absolutely The Right Decision.
It probably was, but when you're watching people who did apprenticeships and got jobs after college earning enough in a single year to pay off your entire college debt, it's tough to believe it...
10. No, I'm Not Going Out, I'm Too Busy Focussing On Work.
Watching Netflix is work, yeah?
11. I'm Definitely Making Sure I Get Enough Exercise.
Walking to the fridge counts, right? Oh and I had sex like two months ago. Must've burned millions of calories there.
12. It Doesn't Really Count For Much Of My Grade Anyway.
60% isn't that much, is it? Nah.
13. I'm Actually Really Happy With This Essay!
Read: I hit the wall with it last night, I've totally given up, and now I think I'm going to vomit if I look at it again.
14. I'm Fine.
Final year can feel overwhelming and most of us find ourselves saying this at one time or another but if you're stressed it is really important to let it out. You'll feel better afterwards, promise!
Video: Lies College Students Tell!