19 Things Every Guy Has Done When Drunk

Men are known to do some silly things from time to time, but DRUNK men are known to so some REALLY ridiculous things. Here's a list of things that every guy has done when drunk!

19. Begged your friend to give you a jocky-back.

Walking out of a nightclub drunk as a skunk, screaming at your friend John to give you a jockey-back "to the end of the road." Sometimes it happens, and John gets two feet before toppling over onto the pavement with the sheer weight of you and the copious amount of beer in your belly from the night's antics.

18. Called your ex girlfriend proclaiming your undying love for her.

Every guy has got to the "call-your-ex" level of intoxication on several occasions. Whether you're emotional because you broke up and in your drunken states, think it was a mistake or simply because you're extremely randy, you've definitely done it!


17. Had an embarrassing fight with your best friend.

Whether it's over a girl, a drink, or the price of an Animal Bar, having an immature fight with your best friend when drunk is something every guy has experienced at least once. Most of the time you can't even remember what you were fighting about. you just shake hands and mutter: "sorry man..."

16. Stole something random just for the hell of it.

Coming home with a street sign or traffic cone seems like a hilarious and extremely appropriate thing to do on your way home from a night out, until you wake up in the morning with your mother screaming at you. Yikes!


15. Had sex in public.

Men are animals with urges, and all alcohol does is enhance that testosterone and let them loose like a lion hunting a deer in the wild. Sometimes, when there's no house to go to, a dry bush or a clean field is a great haven for sexual activity.

14. Cried like a baby.

Alcohol can mess with a man's emotions. Some men are heavyweights among their peers, skulling cans like there's no tomorrow and they never seem to shift their weight. Then there's the guys in the middle who know their limit. And of course, there's the men on the bottom of the scale - the lightweights. They are the ones who usually explode into reckless activities and have the emotional structure of a roundabout. Crying uncontrollably because it's your dead dog's fifth anniversary is not acceptable, but it happens.


13. Arrived home without an item of clothing.

You can count yourself lucky if you came home from a night out leaving your jacket in the cloakroom. Many men have arrived home without shirts, socks, belts, shoes and of course, dignity.

12. Came clean and told the truth about something.

Alcohol can be like truth serum for men - they just can't help confiding in someone and letting loose their deepest darkest secrets to anyone who will listen.


11. Puked in a taxi.

Men control their alcoholic intake when surrounded by friends or women but when they're alone all hell breaks loose! All of us have puked on a public bus or in an unfortunate taxi driver's car. Oops!

10. Almost burn down your house.

When you forget to get food on the way home at 4am, the first thing you do when you enter your house is head straight for the fridge. Putting on a pizza and falling asleep on the couch happens all too frequently. The pizza burning is the last of your worries. Just hope that you don't wake up in a pool of smoke! It happens!


9. Eat food off the floor.

What's the worst that can happen really? As long as there's no girls around or anyone they have to behave mildly well-mannered in front of, men will consume all sorts of rubbish when they're drunk. "That slice of cheese has only been walked on once. Sure you can barely see the footprint in it... Be graaaaand." *Chomp*

8. Go to a casino and leave with nothing.

Alcohol makes us do things we wouldn't usually do right? Well that's how I rationalise it when I put 25 euro on black on roulette at 5am and lose. Shocking decision.


7. Sneakily felt a girl's bum on the dancefloor.

Guys are pervs, and many a men have sneaked a cheeky squeeze in a crowded bar or nightclub and got away with it too. It's nothing to be proud of...

6. Walked over 20 miles home from a night out.

Have you got that drunk that you started an argument, stormed out of a bar, bought a pack of cigarettes and walked the width of Dublin home to your house? Well at least you burned off some of those calories from the beer with that 4 hour meander home.


5. Free bar - ran around necking ends of random people's drinks.

Penniless drunkards are known to stroll through bars when they're all out of cash and take advantage of loose pints or nearly finished drinks. Just hope you don't get caught!

4. Ended up in a Garda station.

Whatever the reason, it's something that far too many men can say they've done in their time.


3. Used something other than toilet paper to wipe his bum.

When you find out that here's no toilet paper left in a bar, it's usually too late. There's nothing you can do, you have to wipe - quick thinking! Errr ... Socks?? I'll say no more. You know who you are...

2. Passed out in a mysterious place.

Waking up lying flat-faced on the bonnet of your former school teacher's car, or naked under your best friend's bed or even underneath your ex-girlfriend's sister's bed covers. There's a certain excitement about waking up in these places, perhaps partly because you're usually still drunk off your ass.


You've had at LEAST one of these nights. Woken up the next morning, discovering that all your pockets are empty and you've lost your iPhone, wallet, driver's licence, passport, house and car keys somewhere along the way. It's a costly night and you'll never hear the end of it!

Damien Slater
Article written by
Damien is a handsome 20-something recent graduate, with a developing tint of megalomania and unwarranted sense of entitlement. He is a fond lover of happy hour and is a self-proclaimed "expert" in pickup-artistry. With an aptitude for writing and solving algebraic equations, he is currently enjoying life, bouncing from one hot blonde to the next, and hopes to soon achieve the 100th notch on his bedpost.

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