Sometimes it’s true when they say it’s a mans world, when it comes to getting ready, a quick shower, shave, a bit of gel and they’re out the door.
Being a woman however, is just a tad more complicated, it takes a lot to buff and groom our selves on a weekly, even daily basis.
I’m not saying girls do all these on a daily basis, because lets face it, ain’t no body got time for that... But some men don’t seem to understand the efforts girls go through to feel spick and span, and look even more beautiful than we already do!
With all the nitty gritty details, the fakeness, and beauty products, sometimes I wish I was a boy so facial hair would be considered attractive!
1. Leg shaving
This is a weekly struggle for every woman, and if you’re one of the unlucky ones like me, you have excess, rapid hair growth and literally have to shave them every second day for fear your other half will prick himself when things are getting hot and heavy.
This should be considered part of your exercise routine because you bend and twist, squat and repeat.
When you get out and realise you forgot to do your knees!!! Oh the struggle!
2. Bikini Wax
Oh the fear, no man would ever understand the pain of getting a bikini wax. If you plan on going on holidays, your bikini line is one thing you don’t want to have to worry about. Yes it hurts like a motherfucker and no they don’t over dramatise it on tv!
3. The shampoo routine
Colour protect shampoo, hair repair shampoo, keratin shampoo, argon oil shampoo, so many hair problems, so many different shampoos...
Wash.. rinse.. repeat, wash..rinse..repeat.. fuuu*k I’m blinded... ABORT ABORT!!
4. Hair masks
If you bleach your hair, use excess heat, straighteners/curlers, chances are you need to use hair masks, I wonder could I get one leg fully shaven by the time I need to wash this out? GO..GO..GO!!
So you think washing yourself would make you clean enough, guess again, it’s time to exfoliate and get rid of all those dead skin cells...
Think of it as a snake shedding its skin!
6. Popping spots
We know they say you're not supposed to pop spots because it makes them worse and then they spread.. but hey, we all do it, it hurts like fuck but we'll keep going back...
Kind of like a bad relationship.
It’s always better if it smells good! Time to slap that lot all over, everywhere, got to keep that skin healthy and shining, don’t forget your face moisturiser #necessity
8. Facial hair removal
Yes.. Unfortunately this needs to be done.
Time to whack out the most violent smell of all time, Veet! And how convenient it’s to be placed right under your nose!!
Better make sure you don’t leave it on for too long because that shit will burn like a motherfucker and leave a quiet obvious red patch across a place girls obviously don’t get hair... ahem.. ahem...
9. Face mask
Hair max, face mask, everyone loves masks masks!
This is like a novelty thing to do at a sleepover with the girls, so it can be fun, but if you’re at home, you might scare the life out of your poor little brother when he sees a green faced creature lying on the bed with their face covered in avocado.
Don’t be temped to eat the cucumber!
10. Nose strips
Looks like a basic plaster slapped across your nose as if someone gave you a right shiner!
This does actually help to get rid of blackheads, not that anyone in the world can see those microscopic dots, BUT I SEE OKAY, I SEE!!
11. Eyebrow Plucking
Don’t you just wish you had a naturally perfect shaped brow? Well most of us don’t...
I hope you know that every girl will look you up and down, and then proceed to judge your eyebrows.
Not to mention the nearly impossible task of getting them both to look the same!
You think you've accomplished life getting one perfect brow, well good luck trying to mirror the other sweetie..
WHY IS LIFE SO DIFFICULT!
No one likes fake tan, it’s messy, it smells and it gets on absolutely everything.
You spend ages, again flexing and bending, making sure to reach every inch of your body in a bid to be a bronzed babe.
Good luck if you plan on wearing anything white because that tan will literally jump right on that.
Let alone the leprosy looking patches of brown all over for days after trying to scrub it off!
Work it girl!
13. Hair styling
Here’s how it goes, brush hair.. dry hair.. straighten hair.. backcomb hair..style hair... curl hair... aaaand repeat the last three until you leave the front door.
That’s for people lucky enough to not need hair extensions...
You can’t afford to get gel or shellac nails done, so you do a DIY job yourself!
French manicure on the left hand, perfect, I should be a professional.
You get as far as the second finger on the right hand it looks like a bird came and sh*t all over your fingers. Blobs everywhere and well white nails altogether might be nice, let’s go with that.
It’s summer time, which means exposing your feet, yuck!
I can’t leave the house with bare toenails my feat are ugly enough as it is!
Attempting to use you’re right hand to pedicure your right foot is a lot harder than it sounds, be careful not to topple over!
This is fast becoming part of every girl’s make-up routine.
Thanks to the likes of Kim K, we all want to shine like a celeb, but perfection takes time.
You might look like someone threw a bucket of paint on your face, but the end result will have you shine bright like a diamond.
Those cheekbones though.. dauyyyyym gurrrrrl!!
17. False Lashes
After three attempts you manage to pick it up with a tweezers, trying not to jab your eye while putting the lashes in place.
Or have the dreaded fear of literally blinding yourself by glue, it might take a minute or two to literally pull your eyelids open and it might look like you’ve got a severe case of conjunctivitis…but hey, beauty is pain right!
18. Winged eyeliner
Don't ever ask a girl with winged eyeliner why she is late! Whether you use a stencil, a page, or a brush to make that angel... They're all useless! You're fecked either way, because you might be rockin' it like Lady Gaga on the right but you'll guarantee looking like a drag queen on the left!
Seems like a fairly easy task right? we've been doing this since we were like 13...
All fun and games until someone sneezes!
You end up with half your face covered in mascara and your whole foundation application ruined!!
What is life.
20. Time of the month
Well that's just a struggle in itself isn't it.