We've all had that guilty feeling our texting our parents for money for "books" *winky face*. You and I both know the chances of that money going towards genuine college shit is as likely as you actually reading extra recommended material for class. It's probably not going to happen. A lot of the time we don't know where the fuck our money goes... well we kind of know, we just don't want to admit it. Here's 21 things you spend your money on instead of college shit...
21. Hilarious things on Amazon
Whether out of pure curiosity or as a gag present, who can go a lifespan without some sweet ass unicorn meat right? Amazon really does sell everything, and trust me, unicorn meat isn't the weirdest thing on there.
3 for a tenner! How could you resist? I don't exactly understand the appeal of jagerbombs, but my drunk self tends love ordering jagerbombs for all new besties I made in the bathroom. The worst part is waking up in a heap, with no memory and not even enough cash for a chicken fillet roll to sooth your hangover.
Payday and Asos sales go hand in hand. All that cash which was meant to go on rent and basic survival amenities has now gone towards a new, but really nice coat. It was 70% off, i'm only human!
Because sometimes all you need is a filthy 3-in-1 or massive 21 inch pizza, or both, in order to make your hella stressful day better. Plus it's ten times better than whatever you've attempted to make, and if you eat pasta one more time you'll literally cry.
For something that costs such a small amount it certainly takes up an overwhelming amount of our time. So many nights spent in bed with your laptop watching endless episodes of 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia' and Louis Theroux documentaries have overcome precious essay time. Which you'll be kicking yourself for the night before it's due.
16. Recreational drugs
Don't deny it. Most of us at one point have spent some of our lovely student loan and some lovely dovely drugs. Whether that ecstasy or marijuana, it was probably totally worth it.
15. Spur of the moment nights out
Fuck it. Famous last words as you throw on some decent looking clothes and head to the closest off license. You haven't exactly budgeted for a night out but you've reached the point of numbness with college work. So instead of sitting in and staring at an empty word document, you might as well be on the booze.
14. Buying another IPhone after losing your other one
Or smashed it on a night out, or drowning it in your own vomit. There are so many ways in which we manage to fuck up with our phones. But we do, all the time. After a shameful plea to your parents and doing your time with the old reliable Nokia it's another 200+ euro on the new phone. Buy insurance.
13. The nice cereal
You've been eating shitty fucking Aldi rip off bran flakes for weeks as a part of your healthy and dirt cheap diet. It's time to spend that extra few quid on some delicious Coco pops or even... pop fucking tarts. Student living can be kind of miserable, so who can blame you for treating your taste-buds.
12. Beer on special offer
You know yourself, you go into get a six pack and leave with 40 bottles of cheap beer. You're thinking long term, you'll have beer for months! Never having to go back to the off license for the rest of the term! You're just being practical... until your housemates drink it all on you *sigh*.
11. Paying for the taxi home from the club
"No, no, it's grand, i'll get it." - kicking yourself this morning aren't you? Money didn't matter at the time, all you were focused on was putting that frozen pizza on, or getting whoever you brought home into bed. I hope it was worth it.
10. Class trips
The college experience is all about partying and getting wrecked with your fellow student body, so of course you can't miss out on the class trip to a piss up in a hostel. Plus it's kind of cheap, when's the next time you're going to get away anyway?
9. Trying to impress someone
New clothes, paying for cinema and Eddie Rockets can add up to a hefty sum for a student on a budget. But they're really hot, and a great laugh, so it's totally worth the investment. The electricity bill will just have to wait.
8. Sex Toys
College is a time of sexual exploration, so naturally it's a time when we buy our first sex toy. Discreetly online, in the sex shop will your closest and most trustworthy friend or at your sisters Ann Summer's party, you're bound to pick one up in your college years.
7. Student Fines
Library fines, breaking furniture, swimming in the college lake when prohibited and god knows what. It seems that college will charge you an excessive amount of cash for any kind of small rule you've broken or overdue book you keep meaning to break back. We already pay them for our education, why must they nit pick at our purses.
6. Doctor bills for Sick Note/STD check up
The old "sudden bereavement" in the family excuse has been used too many times, so it's finally time to whip out the sick note. However, that costs money. But not enough to still get you out of bed on time for your tutorials. So back to the doctors. Not to mention you've haven't felt the same since you got with that girl in Coppers last week. Might want to get yourself checked out.
5. Ryanair flights
It's like 20e for a flight to anywhere in the UK! So cheap! It's really hard not to get all your mates together for a major piss up in Newcastle for the long weekend. Plus booze is so cheap there, so might as well...
4. Video Games
It just seems that once you've finished a game, another one comes out. Whether that the lastest FIFA or COD, it's unquestionable that you're going to get it, and spend hours upon hours happily hooked. Move aside all college work and social commitments.
3. Home Repairs
We've all had a session get a little out of control; from having a foot go through the wall, the fridge coming apart or having someone piss on the carpet, it''s inevitable. Just pray that your landlord has house insurance, and will forget about the incident when giving you your deposit back.
2. Chicken Fillet Rolls & Burritos
It's just so much easier to pick up one of these delightful treats than making your own lunch. Sometimes all you need in life is comfort food and nothing will do that more for you than a cheeky chicken fillet roll or a snuggly burrito, extra guacamole.
1. Unnecessary Stationary
No one ever needs 6 planners, an endless amount of post-its or multi-coloured Sharpies, yet you seem to. You're just one of those people that loses their shit in the stationery section. A different colour notepad for every module, which succumb to nothing but a few sparse notes and essay plans.