So you’re walking along happily, minding your own business and thinking about going to the gym. Although, realistically, you know you’re going to skip it in favour of a burrito with your friends.
Same lies, different day.
You’re feeling okay about yourself. I mean you could’ve been wearing a bit more makeup or a nicer jumper, but hey, at least you’re not a total wreck. It’s been a few months since the breakup and you are fine. Better than fine. You’re absolutely grand. Can barely remember his surname.
And then BANG.
You don’t know if the universe is purposely trying to punish you or if you deserve some kind of bitter karma. But there he is. Walking directly towards you. And there’s no way out of his flight plan.
You’re absolutely fucked.
There are a few things that run through your mind in this situation, while you try not to fall into a ball on the floor and hope he doesn’t notice.
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Mainly:
- Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
- No, it’s fine. It’s fine. It’s totally fine.
- Maybe he won’t see me.
- Shit. Nope. Too late for that.
- Is he really still walking towards me?
- Why can’t he just be normal and awkward?
- Why does he look so good?
- Eye contact. Kill me now.
- No way out.
- He’s slowing down.
- Fuck.
- I can do this. I can totally do this.
- Why am I paralysed?
- Why does he look so good?
- Why do I look like I slept in a ditch last night?
- I’ll just act like I can’t see him.
- Too late.
- He waved.
- Why did he wave?
- Is he going to stop now and talk to me?
- Fuck. He’s right in front of me.
- Why is my heart exploding?
- Why did he just say hi?
- Do I say hi?
- Is that how this works?
So you blurt out an erratic “Hi.”
And the world doesn’t end.
And you’re kind of proud of yourself for acting mature and civil.
But you also kind of wish the universe would just throw a burrito at you instead of your ex.
