Having big boobs is something that can be a blessing, yes, but also a huge bloody curse. From people talking to your chest, to back pain, to struggling to find anything that actually fits, it's really not all it's cracked up to be. Here are the 27 worst things about having big boobs:
1. Finding a bra that actually fits well and doesn’t make you look like you have cone tits.
2. And isn’t a complete death trap.
3. Not being able to wear really cute styles because practicality comes first.
4. Eating something without half of it falling straight into your boobs.
5. Wearing something with only a vaguely low neckline and having people comment on how you’ve “got the girls on show”.
6. So wearing something high-necked but looking like Mrs. Trunchbull.
7. Having permanent bra strap and underwire marks that are sore AF.
8. Being defined solely by your assets.
9. Having to hold on to your bangers for dear life every time you run or go down some stairs.
10. Babies assuming you must have an abundance of milk in your giant jugs.
11. People using your boobs to break their fall.
13. Being everyone’s human pillow.
14. Having a shirt pop undone at the most inappropriate moment.
15. Having to layer your sports bras so you don’t end up poking yourself in the eye.
16. And then crying in a fit of frustration at having to take them off.
17. As if exercise wasn’t already hard enough for us.
18. Not being able to lie on your back and see anything in front of you.
19. And not being able to lie on your front without squishing your boobs to death.
20. Not being able to wear a necklace without it getting sucked into the vortex of your boobalas.
21. Never knowing when a boob will betray you, but knowing that it will betray you.
22. Getting boob sweat, especially the underboob kind, ALL YEAR ROUND.
23. Suffocating anyone shorter than you every time you show them affection.
24. Not being able to borrow your mate’s cute clothes because “you’ll just stretch them”.
25. Never being able to wear a strapless bra unless you want to be doing this all day.
26. And never quite being bold enough to go braless.
27. Knowing that when you’re old AF, you probably won’t be able to contain them any longer.
And you shouldn’t have to; you’ve done your time in boob jail.