In ancient Rome gladiators would compete in arenas vying for supremacy, writhing in the bloodied sand, trying to assert their dominance over one another, to show that they were the best. The process for selecting the 5 best chippers in Ireland I hope to have been a somewhat similar affair.
Organised as it is by Just Eat, I can only imagine that, in some sort of vast field somewhere in the country all of the chip shop owners were assembled to battle it out, perhaps somewhere in Leitrim. One can imagine a rolling meadow, absolutely bursting at the seams with chipper chefs; their bellies rotund from years of access to incredibly fat-heavy food; their starched aprons stained with grains, but their hearts bursting with determination to prove their worth - and perhaps bursting due to issues with cholesterol, again due to the fat-heavy food.
This however, after a cursory glance over their website, seems to be little more than wishful thinking as it appears the 5 best chippers in Ireland have actually be ascertained through some sort of online poll. This, I think we can all agree, is a far more humane way of settling things.
The results of this poll have thrown out these names to be the top 5 chip shops in Ireland, survey them in their majesty;
1) Friar’s Rest, 4 Glencar Shopping Centre, Circular Rd, Letterkenny, Co. Donegal
2) Danolla’s Fish & Chips, Castle St, Gorteendrunagh, Castlebar, Co. Mayo
3) Cafollas, Castle St, Gorteendrunagh, Castlebar, Co. Mayo
4) 9th Lough, 1 St Patrick’s Rd, Clondalkin, Dublin 22
5) Gino’s Diner, 88 Clanbrassil St, Townparks, Dundalk, Co. Louth
As someone who loves chips, but is not really willing to travel more than, say, 3 kilometres for them, I will have to take Just Eat's word on most of these. I will instead content myself with the wares of my regular chipper, or when they're closed resorting to my trusted 'Plan B'; frying potatoes whole and eating them like apples.
Just Eat are looking for you to vote for a winner out of these 5 to definitely claim where's the best chipper in Ireland, so head over to their page to have your say, or don't, realistically, it is very much your choice.