Almost from the moment we are born people begin giving us advice. They give us advice on what to do with our lives, what not to do with our lives, what to wear, who to date, what to drink, what to eat, vice versa and so on and so forth. For as long as I can remember, I was never able to take advice from anyone because I always knew at the end of the day I was incapable of taking anyone's advice but my own. Growing up, my friends always looked to me as a solace in times of need and I was happy being their source of comfort. It has always been the simplest advice that has stuck with me throughout the years, I never bought into big quotes in long paragraphs. So here's a list of the simplest things people have said to me that have meant the most.
1. “Worrying Won’t Make It Any Better.”
“Worrying won’t make it any better” was my mothers go to line every time I came home from school after having an argument with a friend or discovered an upcoming test I had completely forgotten about (because I always did forget.) When I was younger and my problems were so small it was easy to worry because you knew deep down that it was eventually all going to work itself out.
Now that I'm older and I've entered the “real world” where rent and obligations seem to suffocate us all, I think about those words my mother would say to me when I came running to her in tears and I think to myself how right she was. At the end of the day, no matter how hard you analyze a situation or how hard you think up scenarios in your head of things you wish you could change but you can’t, things will play out the way they are going to play out, so say “screw it worrying won't make it any better” and open up a bottle of wine and find a way to make a positive in your problem and just RELAX.
2. “It’s A Bad Day Not A Bad Life.”
I would take five bad days for one perfect day and I genuinely mean that. When I look back on my memories I rarely remember the bad days I’ve had but I always remember to smile and laugh at the good ones. I think it's important for us as human beings to always have a positive attitude. I feel to make it through every storm you have to believe it's going to lead you to a sunny beach where there's a margarita waiting for you.
Happiness isn’t a journey or a destination, it is a mindset and in this mindset you have to remember at the end of every day is the night and that night turns into a brand new morning. I know your job sucks and your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t treat you right but YOU define YOUR struggle. Change a bad day into a great day by starting with the belief that it will pass and that all it is is just a bad day not a bad life.
3. “Everything You Do, Do It For You.”
I moved country when I was pretty young and my mother always encouraged me while I was making this decision that I had to make it for myself. I was lucky enough to have a mother who never tried to make decisions for me and who always allowed me to express myself and to do the things that I felt made me happy. I never saw myself being happy in the country I grew up in, I saw the way people lived around me and I didn’t want that for myself.
Going to college has always been something that's important to me but it has never been something I’ve felt I had to do when society told me was right to. The “norm” in the town I grew up in was to go to college straight after school and get a job, this to me sounded miserable. I was 17 and I had no idea what I wanted from life yet but I was damn sure I wasn’t going to spend years guessing while I racked up some student loans and wasted time. I decided to not listen to my friends and specific family members when they told me I shouldn’t just take off into the unknown because I knew that they didn’t know me like I know me and the me that I know, knows that the “norm” is not something I want ever.
4. “Whatever’s Meant For You Won't Pass You By.”
I hold these words so close to my heart, not only because I believe them to be absolutely true, but because someone who I have lost who I hold close to my heart once said them to me. I had just got my heart broken – badly and of course people were giving me endless advice but after all this time these are the only words I remember hearing. It was my first ever real heartbreak and in that time where I felt so hopeless these words gave me hope.
I found such comfort in the thought that the universe was putting me through such hardship because it had something better for me. Now, years later, I have found someone who I love more than I ever thought I could love anyone ever and I have come to see that the reason why all of those things that I thought were absolutely for me passed me by to take me to the moments that are, the moments that make me feel complete.
5. “Dreams Don’t Work Unless You Do.”
These words never had to be spoken to me for me to realize how true they are. I won’t say that life has been hard for me but I’ve never been one of those people who growing up had things handed to them. I’ve had to work hard for the things that I want all my life. I’ve never respected people who have had their dreams handed to them because I don’t feel like it's real if you haven’t worked for it yourself.
You can sit around all day dreaming about your goals but you wont ever reach them if you don’t do anything to achieve them. You want that toned beach body? Put the fries down and get your ass in the gym. Want that new car? Strive to work over-time. Want that promotion at work? Start working hard enough that people notice. If there is something in life that is worth having, then it is worth working hard for. You will get what you put in.
6. “It's Not What You’ve Lost, It's What You Find.”
Funnily enough this quote is from Ellie Goulding’s song “Wish I Stayed” I heard it for the first time on an airplane when I was sixteen after I had said a string of goodbyes to people who I thought were supposed to matter to me but had just found out did not. Ever since I heard these words for the first time, they have been my go to whilst giving advice to people who are living in the past. I firmly believe that to grow as a person you have to let the past be the past and accept the things that were simply just not meant for you.
One day you will wake up and time will have passed you by so silently that you didn’t even notice it ticking away and suddenly all of those people and things that used to matter to you don’t anymore and there's all these new people and things in your life that your world revolves around. While you were letting go of your old dirty baggage you found new things to love and be happy and excited about...therefore the things you have lost don’t matter anymore. The only things that matter are the things you have right now, the things you have found.
Video: 8 Year Olds Give Life Advice
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