We’ve all been there. It’s 6 o’clock on a Tuesday night; you’re tired, wet and shivering from the cold only to step onto that overcrowded Bus you waited far too long for and encounter some of the biggest nuisances and annoyances of human kind.
We are a nation of talkers. Whether it’s over cups of tea or pints of the black stuff, we talk about everything and anything. But after a long day’s work nothing will make your ears ring like the incessant shouting, cackling and hollering of the Talker. He finally asked you out on that second date? Fabulous. He paid for all your drinks? I’m delighted for you, Sharon. But there’s no reason we all have to listen to you rant and rave about it all the way home. Text was invented for a reason.
The windows are shut to keep out the cold and the condensation is building up as the driver decides to play a little round of sardines in a tin. Then comes the coughing, the sneezing, the sniffling and sucking back of phlegm. Millions and millions of little germs being excreted into the air that you’re all sharing and allowing into your body. Does that make no one else a little squeamish?
The Obnoxiously loud music listener
Do you secretly get your kicks out of listening to Miley Cyrus? Well, the secret is out my man, because I have news for you. Those iPhone earphones aren’t noise cancelling and when you have them up full blast, we’re all jamming along to your pop princess too. You can try hide your secret all you want under that Hollister jumper, but we all know you’re just a misunderstood soul who can’t be tamed.
Whether it’s a Walk of Shame or Stride of Pride, it is pretty much guaranteed that whenever you set foot on a Dublin Bus you will encounter The Drunk. A gaggle of fake tanned girls drinking vodka diet coke or the lads downing their cans of Dutch at the back of the bus are a customary experience of any Dublin Bus user once the sun goes down during the week. Sure they have to get to The Palace somehow? Shout out to the lone wolf who does his best to sit up straight and not fall asleep against the window after a few too many though. We appreciate you too!
Maybe you’ve had a long day cramming for that exam, rushing those assignments or dealing with unruly customers. Whatever the circumstances though, The Sleeper can be seen, head rolling, body rocking with the rhythm of the bus as they try their best to catch a little shut eye before their stop. Nod off for a little long did you? Sorry love, you’re in Ballymun now, not Ballinteer.