Time to Dump Her: 7 Signs Your Girlfriend's a Bitch

1. She never brings money out with her

She has a job or some very generous parents and yet she never has any money on her. Or else she does have money but she spends it all on clothes and never reaches for her wallet after her cocktail order. Why is it that girls feel entitled to free food and free drinks even though we're all in the same boat.

Piss off back to Dundrum.


2. She expects you to do all her dirty work

'Take out the bins! It's a man's job'


Hold the phone! Any competent adult is capable of taking out a bin. It's not 'a mans job', that's as bad as me saying cook me a meal, it's a woman's job'.

Double standards. Get fucked.


3. She flirts with other guys outrageously around you

I have absolutely no problem with my girlfriend having guy friends, it's healthy to have a mix and she gets on with girls as much as she does guys. What I do have a problem with is when girls drape themselves over men in front of their boyfriend in an attempt to either make him jealous or cause drama of some sort.

This girl needs all the wrong kind of attention.  Tell her to get the boat.



4. She's a bitch to your friends

For some reason she hates your friends and thinks they're wasters. She scoffs every time they're around despite them always being lovely to her, she think they're a waste of space and makes you feel guilty every time you spend time with them.

Fuck her, they're your mates.


5. She cries on nights out


I understand tears, I really do. I'm not a crier myself but I know that sometimes women can be more outwardly emotional than men. Grand. What I don't understand is that they feel the need to stand in front of a bar a cry in front of the whole place. I might be wrong here but would you not prefer to cry alone, sort this out between ourselves or whoever girl you're arguing with.

Go home, you're drunk.

6. She won't let you be friends with girls

I understand not having sleepovers with girls but if I be cool with her guy friends then she has to be cool with my girl ones. Sometimes you have friends of both sexes that you've been friends with since you were in nappies. Now how are you supposed to cut out one half of that group just because of their gender.

It's bullshit. Pat Rafter.


7. She tells you what to wear

I like my clothes. Know how I know that? Because I spent money on them. Yep, my hard earned cash was exchanged for this item, so if you have a problem with it, you can just go piss up a flagpole.

Writing this has gotten me really wound up about some old girlfriends. If any of these sound like yours, give her a swift kick to her clam burger - from men everywhere.



Mark Kenny

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