Going to the library has now become somewhat of a social event in itself. Gone are the days of actually doing a few solid hours of revision at home. Now going into the library in the morning time, spending most of the day procrastinating (by reading articles like these), and doing a few hours here and there is the status quo. The college library, especially around the exam period, is a harsh environment where everything you do is scrutinised more so than the exams you revise for. Here at CollegeTimes, we have a list of what you need to be doing to make you one of the top dogs in your library.
This one is a biggie, and all other SLB, (Standard library behaviours) are useless without this in place. Being on point appearance wise is crucial, seeing as there's so much sexual tension in the library air. So pull out your latest threads to impress the opposite sex. However, finding the right balance is key, as being dressed like your going to step off the runway in Paris is a big nono. You have to try to look well without people knowing you're trying. On top of this, change your outfits daily to appear extra fashionable!
Library Positioning Is Key
Ideally, you want a seat that allows a good level of exposure with regards to people seeing you. I mean, if you aren't seen at the library, what's the point in going? The perfect position will also allow you to creep on high numbers of people in the area. From this zone you can scout potential library baes, and generally be a nosey bastard throughout the day. Moving around is also important, as one can scout the area outside your specific zone to see what talent lies elsewhere. Also walking around a lot makes you seem more important, even though you really just can't remember where you left your bag.
Seeing Your Library Bae
Chances are you will cross paths with someone you fancy on a recurring basis in the library. And without putting your degree on the backburner too much, unless you want to die alone in a room full of cats, you best do as much as you can to come across as a highly intelligent and attractive creature to them. Finding the right balance when it comes to eye contact is key; not too creepy, but not too shy either. If you can, get your friends to come round and chat to you about 6 times a day. Your secret admirer(s) will wonder why you're so popular. If you lay the right foundations in the library, then when you see each other on a night out and you're both steaming, you are in there.
Coffee Is The Best Accessory...
For some strange unknown reason, holding a coffee is an essential library accessory, especially around exam time. There seems to be a direct correlation between coffee, and perceived intelligence. Even if you don't like the stuff, best chug it down to let people know you're working hard and pulling all nighters. Size does matter; order a massive one, preferably to-go, so you can be seen with it. And if someone asks what you're drinking, don't say tea, even if it is...The more pumpkin spice, cinnamon and soy you've got in there, the greater your library rep.
Unless You Have A Mac
We could all do our course work on one of the computers in the library, but if possible, it's always cooler to have some fancy gadget that we can flaunt around. The Mac is like the holy grail of library hardware; if you have one, best walk around with that thing, showing it off like a newborn baby. Tablets with detachable Bluetooth keyboards, and a 'sick' pair of Beats are also highly favourable items to have. Your equipment won't help you pass your exams, but they raise your library street cred sky high, and that's the real recognition you should crave.
Your workstation, wherever it may be, is a reflection of you. In the library, where image is everything, even your desk is under scrutiny. Make sure there's plenty of stuff there so you look as if you're doing work and not just creeping. (What they don't know can't hurt them.) Highlighters and big heavy books also give your desk a more academic look. If your desk is empty, however, it can be taken by library vultures around exam time, when seats are scarce, and as cool as it may look in your head, you don't want to have to come back and beat their ass in front of everyone for stealing your seat.
Constant Social Media Updates
As mentioned before, being seen at the library is just as important as actually going to it, so some social media activity geared towards this is an essential part of boosting your library game. This can be done in a number of ways, like sending a generic 'Aww I'm so fucked for this exam' snap, or zooming in on your unknowing friend in a video. Facebook wise, a funny video of an animal that draws parallels with the lack of revision you're doing will also go down a treat. This kind of behaviour helps build a rapport with other library goers, and acts as a useful means of procrastination from doing actual revision.
Strong Yik Yak Game
An ancient Chinese proverb says 'Yik Yak, is some fucking craic.' OK, while the origins of that statement may be in question, its meaning is not. The library provides a hub for some pretty good anonymous banter on this app. You'll probably feel better about getting 50 ups on yak, than getting a first in your degree (not that I've done either.) It acts as an effective system for alerting you to potential hotties in your area, so you know where to go when you want to 'stretch your legs'. Also, if you're lucky enough, you may be mentioned as said hottie in a yak by someone else. Or, if you're really clever/desperate, you can describe yourself as the hot person to draw more attention to yourself from other rides in the vicinity.
Inevitable Library Small Talk
This is an important ritual around library time, and the small talk follows a strict pattern. One party says how screwed they are and that they can't do any work in the library, the other reiterates this point, while both of you agree deleting Facebook might be a good idea. Us Irish tend to be pessimistic folk, so nothing makes us feel better than knowing someone else is in the same boat as us (probably a Titanic type vessel.) If you follow this conversation style, you to can fit in with the established cool cats of your college library.
So there you have it folks, if you ever wondered how to make it in this cutthroat environment, follow these social conventions, and you'll be a library bad-ass in no time.