If Your College Was..... A Pint

Trinity - Guinness

Very popular and exemplary of Irishness to some, but for many others it's overpriced shaving foamey shite that gives you man boobs. To those who adore it, it is a must in any bar, but it also can make people retch.

UCD - Budweiser

The everyday beer that people just seem to get along with, but to proper aficionados it's utter generic piss.



DCU - Smithwicks

It has a loyal following, but let's face it, nobody outside of Ireland has heard of it (never been able to get it abroad!).


DIT - Coors Light


Available everywhere and essentially a non-drinkers' pint, but it has its benefits. Coors Light is always there but usually people are just desensitised to it. Jean Claude Van-Damme will freeze his nips off for it anyway.

UCC - Murphy's

Some may argue it to be the Guinness that failed, or a rip-off. But true fans will always err towards it for being mellow, smooth and very drinkable.


UL - Heineken

It's just there. It's always there. Easy to drink and moderately popular, but not exactly a go-to craft beer.

NUI Galway - Buckfast


Not even beer, but it's got so much energy in it because they have such a reputation for party, and 'cause most of them could neck a pint of it anyway. We're up all night to get drunk, we're up all night to drink Bucky.

NUI Maynooth - O'Haras

Another one not really considered outside of Ireland, only available in certain places, but decently rich.


NCAD - Asahi

Seen as pretentious hipsterish beer, yet once you get past its rep, it's surprisingly delicious.

Queen's - Harp


Because them Northern feckers drink more of it that Southerners, even though it's brewed in "Fun"dalk.

Ulster - Carlsberg Special Brew

Because at double the percentage of most of these, you'll be totally wankered after a few of them and won't remember that you go to UU anymore!


Aaron Meredith
Article written by
First year at Trinity, English & Philosophy student, closet football fan, experienced cocktail mixer and hair bleacher. Feeling like the only Belfastard in Dublin.

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