"It Doesn't Make Me A Child": 15 Things Only People Who Don't Drink Coffee Know To Be True

No I don't drink coffee, yes I am a superhuman. Deal with it.


Most importantly: if you rely on coffee to get you through the day, you are basically a weak human. Bow down to the caffeineless elite!


1) Starting the day with cereal/pancakes/bacon


2) Getting out of bed isn't even that difficult

Well, apart from maybe on Mondays...


3) There is actually no difference between any of these drinks


4) That if you pay more than €3 for a drink it should definitely contain alcohol


5) Being able to function without a warm, brown liquid makes you a superior being


6) Not crashing six times a day is really quite pleasant


7) Every time you tell someone you don’t drink the stuff you get a look of shock

"OMG wutttt how do you even live??!?!?"


8) And you’re bored of having to explain your reasons why not

Maybe a better question is why do you rely on it so much?


9) Life is better when you’re not constantly shaking


10) There are plenty of other things that can get you through a long day

Yep, even water can help keep you alert.


11) Starbucks, Costa, Caffe Nero etc. are all actually exactly the same


12) Not liking coffee does not make you a child


13) And there are plenty of other reasons to not drink it other than not liking the taste

Like, I dunno, NOT NEEDING IT?!


14) It doesn't even really smell that good

And the stench on your breath is gross, so please leave me alone.


15) You’ll probably live about 15 years longer than your coffee-drinking friends

Via StudentBeans

CollegeTimes Staff
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