Dublin Hotel's Brutally Honest Terms And Conditions Will Have You In Stitches

Dublin Hotel's Brutally Honest Terms And Conditions Will Have You In Stitches

The Charleville Lodge in Phibsborough has had previous when it comes to making a splash on social media. Between banning vegans from their restaurant, giving discounts to people who didn't pay their water bill and spuriously claiming that Garth Brooks was indeed going to play Ireland, they are never far from the public eye.

Their latest viral hit has been a picture of their welcoming note to guests as well as the rules of their accommodation. Twitter user Terri Welsh tweeted two images of the Lodge's terms and conditions and they do make for good reading:

Dear Guests,You are very welcome to Dublin and to Charleville Lodge Hotel. Please be advised that Charleville Lodge is not Buckingham Palace, therefore guests should not expect 7-star service.While our accommodation has been described as palatial, guests are reminded that Charleville Lodge provides budget accommodation and very adequate service. Our service is by no means excellent, which is reflected in the amount of money you’re paying us.

You have to admire the honesty.

As you’ve probably noticed, our hotel is one of the best value accommodation providers in Dublin. You will not find any other hotel selling at a lower price. This means that your rights as a guest are limited. Please keep complaints to a minimum. Our staff are overworked and underpaid as it is and they really don’t need you going to reception to complain unnecessarily.

The hotel then goes into the terms and conditions of it's establishment with a worrying note for those of you with a propensity for stealing hairdryers or towels:


Dogs: if I had my way, dogs would be allowed in the hotel. I prefer dogs to humans. They don’t complain as much. However, our EHO (environmental health officer) does not like dogs in hotels and therefore they are not allowed. Don’t blame me. Blame her.

Hairdryers: If you try to steal the hairdryer from your room, you will be in for a little surprise. There is an explosive device installed on the inner wall of the hairdryer chamber, if you attempt to remove it from the room, the anti-theft system at the front door will detect the hairdryer in your bag and detonate the explosives, killing you and anyone around you.

Late Checkout - If you did the dog on it and are too lazy/not able to get out of bed in time for normal checkout (12pm), you can stay in your room until 6pm. For this service we will extort 30 euro out of you. This service is only available in the highly unlikely event that your room is free on the night you check out.

Narcotics - No illegal substances are permitted in our guest rooms. However, if you are in possession of narcotics and you agree to share some with me, I may turn a blind eye.

Towels - If you attempt to remove the towels from your room you will be electrocuted to death. If you don't want to die prematurely I suggest leaving them in your room when you leave.

Welsh's tweet has been liked over 40,000 times and you have to say as far as marketing goes, Charleville Lodge are ahead of the game.

Eoin Lyons

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