The Everyman's Guide To Fitness

So I've heard a lot about the gym being good for you. I've tried about eight or nine different times to get fit and each time I do I spend the first couple days just browsing various websites that tell you the best way to get fit in between taking breaks for a cigarette. From what I've learned there's no real wrong way except maybe to stop with the excessive takeaway pizza/beer. Here's my simplified version for people that just want to be able to walk up the stairs without collapsing.

1. Find The Right Diet

Okay so every so often you're gonna see articles about new superfoods, and how eating blueberries is gonna change your life. Avoid fatty meats and start grilling your chicken, use more veg when you cook and think about the size of the portions you have. (Maybe stop with the Super Size stuff...) Instead of sifting through all of those articles that tell you why you need the vitamins they provide, the basic rule is don't go overboard with anything. Don't have a full fry up every morning, drink more water instead of that bottle of Coke, cook instead of getting a takeaway and maybe every so often say no to that cake. It's tough but if you want a ripped bod, you gotta have the willpower for it.

2. Cut Down On The Booze

Ever heard of a beer belly? If you haven't then you're under 22. Beer is stuffed full of calories so if you drink a lot when you go out it's going to add up, especially when you go on a bender. It isn't just beer that'll pack on the pounds, alcohol in general has a lot of calories so swapping out beer for vodka isn't gonna cut it. The kebab or greasy chicken at three in the morning probably doesn't help much either so maybe cut down on them too.

3. Beauty Sleep

Guys, stop this 3am lying in bed watching a shit movie on your phone. Exercise tears your muscles up and your body uses sleepy time to heal itself so when it's healing those tears your muscles grow. Your metabolism is also faster during the day than it is at night so if you stay up into the small hours of the morning you are more likely to snack on shitty food. Since your body isn't metabolizing as fast as it should, you are just left with a bunch of calories and nutrients that get turned into rolls of fat. Yep, you know what I'm talking about.

4. The Real Shit Part

Here's where most people, myself included, give up. Exercise is hard fucking work and nobody actually likes working hard so it's easier just to sit down and become one with the couch. You don't have to be a chiselled catalogue model or a young Schwarzenegger to be fit though. Instead of spending three or four hours in the gym dedicate a few hours a week to it. Find the times that suit you best and just get off your arse and go. When Netflix asks if you are still watching, say no and do an hour or two of exercise. After a few sessions you won't feel like you are missing out much. Mainly because you can see the beginnings of definition instead of flab. Sure you'll be a tank in no time.

5. The Benefits

Firstly you'll feel better. Exercise releases feel good chemicals in your body so you'll come away from your workout session sweaty, sore and feelin' damn fine. Look, when you start looking like Tom Hardy after a gym session, your confidence will skyrocket. Exercising relieves stress so if you've had a rough day at work or you've been studying all day you should try and get a quick session in. It's also great for improving brain activity so if you find yourself typing and deleting that essay over and over just leave it up and go for a run, do a few push ups, whatever you feel. Basically, your life will be all-round new and improved.