How to Get In Free Even If You're Not Hot

For my sins, I am paid to pester, bother and annoy anyone unfortunate enough to be friends with me on Facebook. Whether it's with invites, event shares or just relentless spamming, club promoting is an unpopular game, but it does get you free in to clubs for yourself and your friends. Come Thursday pre-drinks everyone has temporarily forgotten your midweek pestering antics and realized your value.

Girls forget your ridiculous push-up bras and lads forget pretending to be the girls boyfriends in order to slide yourself in, this is my definitive guide to getting free in (even if you look like an extra in a horror movie!)

If There Is An App, USE THE APP!

First of all, very few nightclubs are running their night without an app like The Clubbing Guide. The app benefits both the promoter (good publicity for the night) and the attendee (you're in for free stop moaning if its on your damn wall!) but it does take a bit of cop on in order to do it correctly. You need to be quick, if you think you will be going out at the start of the week apply early and you will be in the fast lane to the bar with €8 more to spend on jaager. Apply late and you may as well of thrown €8 into the Liffey for the fishies to eat.

Make Friends With A Promoter

The simple route: look after a friend and they will look after you. Don't be the prick who regularly comments on status' making fun of promoters or even wannabes. Is your ego as big as theirs? Suck it up and buy them a €3 drink on a night out and when you're waiting to queue up and pay, you may be plucked from the herd and slide past the bouncer into the promise land. Feels great watching the suckers dish it out, so just remember it's nice to be nice!


Or... Get Some Dirt On A Promoter

Blackmail. You know something they don't want the population knowing. While they can put up a status' talking about how AMAZING or MASSIVE their night is going to be, you can do the same, but dishing out the dirt. While this might bring a positive result in the short-term it may backfire if you yourself have not been an angel. But sure, do you really care? At the end of the day, you got what you wanted.


Pretend To Be Famous

Plan is; stride right up to the top of the queue, push past everyone get to the door, get you're big friend (bodyguard) to explain the situation to the doorman. They nod accordingly and you're in, probably VIP too. If you wanted a be smarter about it give a quick call to someone in charge making up whoever you are (Leonardo Di Caprio's second cousin Patrick from Bray) and you're in for a winner. Just don't get caught or you're going to look like a self-righteous dickhead with an ego the size of The Pale.


The Sympathy Card

"I've just been mugged!" ,"I left my wallet in a taxi", "The party bus crashed and I'm the lone survivor desperate to carry on with my night." Who cares if it sounds ridiculous as long you're convincing no one will question you. Even if it is hard to believe, promoters do have hearts and all you need is tap into it and you never know you may even make a friend which you can use every week. Not that I'm saying you use your friends.

And Finally, Hop the Barrier and Peg It.

Wear good runners, shorts even and take a running start. High risk, high reward. At the end of the day, do you think Usain Bolt ever paid into a nightclub. I've got my doubts.

Jamie Cameron

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